SUBMISSION STARTS WITH YOU

[Explorewithmich]

Many of life’s frustrations can come from a lack of understanding of ourselves, our essential needs and denial of our deepest desires. We can spend a lifetime ignoring and/or resisting these signals but the frustration continues to build. We jump head first into activities that make us happy in hopes that it will eliminate the frustration, and create a better life. But the happiness is fleeting and the frustration becomes more intense once the high from the activity is over.

Understanding your purpose will help to make Life easier but to uncover that you must first know exactly who you are, what you need and what it is you want. Taking the time to understand yourself is difficult and most people can not be bothered with it but as Plato said “An unexamined life is not worth living.” And you will not find true meaning and happiness from trying to avoid looking into yourself. Without understanding you, you will never be able to figure out exactly what you require and what it is you need to do.

Before You Decide To Jump In Head First​

Please take a breath and spend some time understanding you first. If you don’t take the necessary time to do some self reflection before you dive into BDSM you will find yourself in for a shockingly painful ride.

Think of jumping into BDSM without ever figuring out you, like trying to find a piece of equipment at night in your backyard work shed. First off its pitch black, you can’t see a thing and honestly you don’t even know what it is that you’re looking for. All you’ll end up doing is stumbling around with your hands out as you desperately try to orientate yourself. You will end up stubbing your toe a few times, banging your knees, maybe cut yourself once or twice and probably land on your face more times then you would like. I’m sure you’ll believe you have found what it is you were hoping to find a few times only to realize that it wasn’t. Because you didn’t know what it was you were looking for in the first place, you just had a vague idea it was a tool which means it was likely to be in the work shed. In the end, you will leave the work shed, frustrated, exhausted, beat up and worst off than you had started.

Now if a friend of yours said they were going to head to the work shed at night, I’m sure you would tell them two things.
1) figure out what it is you need from the shed
2) wait until morning so you can actually see where it is.

Which I would say is some pretty sound advice and it is exactly what I am suggestion you do as well. Figure out who are you, and what you require before you step into the work shed (ie dungeon). Having that light may not reveal everything or exactly where you need to go, but it will help to light your path.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

This is some fantastic advice, thanks for posting it. I especially like your analogy of stumbling around in the dark shed with no idea of what your looking for, that's so accurate.

I see this all the time in personal ads, not only does that lack of direction and identity show up clearly it also makes the poster look desperate. Open ended sentences like "will do anything" or "will serve anyone" are clear indicators they have no idea what they're looking for.
The kink world is simply too large and too diverse for such vagueness, those who are seriously looking are looking for specific things. Yes, that narrows the field but honestly there's no point jumping into something you don't like thinking somehow it will be transformed into something you do like. That's not how it works.

2) wait until morning so you can actually see where it is.

And really, this here is the key. Have some patience, spend some time learning about kinks that interest you and when you know what your looking for you can go look for it.