Switch newbie... How to discover sub side?

[Jeroen74]

Hi,

As a Dom I enjoy BDSM a lot.
But the past year the feeling that I was missing something grew.
Now I know I sometimes need to be used myself, as a submissive.

The question is, how do I discover the needs of my submissive side?

I am currently in a relationship with my sub girl. We tried switching a bit in the past, but she's not comfortable with the Domme role at all. Its just not who she is.

Maybe one of you have some advice how to proceed from here.
How to discover my needs?
And how the merge the fulfilling of these in my existing relationship?

Thanks!!

 

[RedSector]

My assumption in this is the sub feelings matter, however in some relationships D/s this may not always be the way it expected to work.

So you have to really respect D/s relationship and maintenance of its status in your lives.

So when your sub girl, states 'not conformable' switching, I would be inclined to believe her stance here, unless my assumption is wrong. And I would advise, from other experience (not my current partner), not to mess with the established D/s roles. From the circumstances, you describe, I don't believe these roles are easily swappable and would caution that they can have unforeseen consequences for the rest of your relationship.

So what now...

You could try asking, about a third (girl/guy) or another couple from time to time.
But you need to be clear, your desire would be a way of allowing you to be a submissive, or not the only submissive, at said events. You would also need to also ask would she be ok with you being dominated in her presence or to submit to another.

You could ask about a BDSM club or other suitable venue to allow you to test your submissive side. Furthermore, you would also need to also ask would she be ok with you being dominated in her presence.


If this above is all a 'no go' then the below is most likely 'no go' too,
Is an open relationship allowed, for this itch to be scratched without consequences.

After the above, I don't have much more in the ways of ideas.

Of course, if it is a fully D/s relationship, you could ignore the stated sub wishes and order it to happen. But you really need to think about unforeseen consequences, and to me, it sounds like these might bite, or you would not have asked the question.

I hope you find this useful to the problem.