Things you should know about Femdoms!

[Randomo]

I feel like a issue a lot of different sites have is that new people come in and don't know how to address others or they spam people constantly to get their attention. I think since Femdom's (the real ones at least) probably have to deal with this the most, it leads to most of them not wanting to be on the site anymore. Btw I'm using "Femdom" as broad term, this could refer to any role where females take charge.

I don't want to make this to long so I'll get to the point. I wanted to make this post for all the Femdom's out there to write things they don't like other people do. Maybe their personal guidelines as to how you should or should not approach them. Everyone is different so being able to read everyone's opinion on how they do things could help others better understand how to approach Femdoms.

Lastly, I want to make this as easy as possible for people to read any information given so if you're not a femdom don't post please (Obviously admins excluded from this rule) and if you're a Switch, I'd count that as a Femdom. Also don't use this post to spam any Femdom's that post here as well, that's the reason I'm making this cause no one wants to be spammed and I feel that's why a lot of people leave these sites. The point is to educate people that are either new or never learned a different way or doing thing.

Here's some topics you can use:

When should you message me.
How you should talk to me.
Signs I'm not interested.
What I do/do not want to see from you.
Things not to do if I don't choose you.


One last thing, I'm not a Femdom just making this in the hopes to help from people driving them away.

 

[andrei]

what I understand is that you are a sub and frustrated on talking to femdom wannabees. Been there etc...
Women usually avoid communicating (many reported they were overwhelmed with PMs) I tried other sites like collarspace but the response was 1) findom usual response and 2) I don't trust you! or 3) slaves and doms cannot be friend. While whe haven't ever communicated so the expectation was simply: I had to declare myself her slave without sharing anything about each other.

So I don't trust the online relationships and then I was seing the femdoms also don't do but practically for no reason.

 

[GoodGirl]

First and most obvious problem is when interests don't line up, or when attraction is missing. I'd say this is the case 99% of the time for me.

Another hurdle for me has been the power dynamic.
While many men enjoy being Bottom, I've actually met woefully few who are submissive. Often, they approach me with a set scenario in mind and expect to insert me into the Mistress-shaped hole in their fantasy. Often, their interest only lasts as long as you tick off the boxes on their kink-list. There are many Tops who love to please their bottoms, but that is not my personal taste.

I do not mean to say they're consciously doing it (although sometimes this is the case) but moreso it speaks from their actions. Expecting me to work on their time-schedule or worse, to work around their girlfriend/wife/whatever. Or for me to be their dirty little secret, a 2nd woman. Giving me a guide on how they believe they "deserve" to be treated and indeed refusing anything else but their specific fantasy. I've had boys insist on calling me by titles right from the very first hi which I told them were bothersome to me, because they personally believed I embodied the term (Mistress, Goddess, whatever). Not to mention the fact that for some people (like me) "Mistress" is not a general term but a personal one and it is much like declaring someone else your girlfriend all of a sudden.

Also, the entitlement. Demanding explanation as to why I would not want to enter an intimate relationship with them when we literally don't know each other at all (like I'm going to write an essay for every person on this planet who might wonder why I do not make my body and soul freely available to them, lol), calling you names if you reject them (racist slurs, body shaming, death wishes - you name it), accusing you of being fake or even stipulating how you must prove yourself to them (and sometimes, laughably, threatening to "expose you" as fake because you won't send titty pictures), negotiating play as if their service must necessarily be paid in the sex or torture of their choice, insulting your partners or friends & family (sometimes in an effort to look better themselves).
Or stating they just want you to come in, beat their balls and leave - and then when you inquire when and where, they suddenly want to wine and dine first.

Just to confuse you even more, it's also annoying when they have no idea what they want or can do. Saying "anything you want" and "no limits" - but to this day I have yet to castrate a man or receive a pony. Two things high on my wish-list. :')

I like the ones who are sure enough of themselves to have an opinions and preferences and aren't terrified to speak it. Yet also submissive enough to know that I will take it into consideration, but then the final decision is mine and they should be grateful for it and trust that it is for the best. In one way or another.

I can understand where andrei is coming from when he says they want you to become slaves before sharing anything. For me personally, this is generally true. Unless someone actually catches my interest without trying, then I would not entertain men for private conversation. I don't mind getting to know each other in the normal way how people get to know each other, meaning in a public forum or chatroom or local venue - even in a club, you don't just drag someone to an empty room to say hello and introduce yourself. Yet online, straight-to-private is the norm. Too many of them get off (some literally and some figuratively) just on trolling women and wasting their time, for absolutely no reason. Too often when they say they want to "get to know each other" they want sexual or emotional satisfaction from me, without reciprocating or committing to anything.
That's not worth my time.