What does training a sub mean to you?

[nina]

It is common to hear dominants talk about training their sub/slave, however how they do it is often not talked about. Of course this may fall a little into high protocol style relationships and not all practice it. It is also subjective on how each individual does it and is dependent on their individual dynamic with their partner, scope, personal styles and chemistry.

Having said that, recently while browsing I stumbled upon this article, says obedience training can include 5 areas of control to shape a sub's/slave's behaviour which are

1. Space - Restricting the sub/slave to a physical area which they cannot leave without permission
2. Time - Controlling the time/pace at which they do certain activities of their schedule
3. Physical Actions - Controlling posture, body positions in play and when parked, movement, speech, sexual stimulation [orgasms] etc
4. Privacy - access to their intimate body, thoughts etc
5. Interpersonal - interactions with others

The article also talks about conditioning using reinforcements [rewards/punishments] to enforce the controls and discipline.
I mentioned this article above as I thought it would be relevant in showing the general direction of this discussion.

Now of course which of the above areas are controlled and to what extent depends on the suitability, nature [TPE or part time etc] and scope of the dynamic mutually consented upon and personally I don't even consider interpersonal an area to be controlled however that is not the point of this discussion.

So, if you are a Dominant who does impart any kind of training to their sub/slave in this context, please share with us how you do it and if you are a sub/slave having received such training let us know your experiences too. What are the important factors to consider while implementing a layout and hurdles that may arise? Also what do you strive to achieve with this training?

And irrespective of if you have experienced training in either roles or not, all kinksters feel free to share your general views on the topic and why does it appeal to you, if it does?

 

[Doctor Pervert]

I tend to use the word training more as simply "educating" as I have always found any kind of formal protocols too restrictive.
Lists such as the one you've found immediately place boundaries for both the Dom and sub and may not be suitable or practical for you. And while yes you can always agree to modify the list by removing or substituting items but as soon as you do you have broken that list protocol anyway.
I find it is much better to work out things like boundaries and restrictions organically as the relationship grows. These may change over time as you find something is not working due to time constraints or other factors and again having a formal framework can cause unneeded friction or tension.

When working with a new sub who is new to kink I work to build trust by slowly introducing things that I expect they will enjoy often despite their initial concerns. As they learn to trust my judgment and knowledge I can then push them onto more challenging ideas and in this way I "train" them to understand their own likes, limits and reactions better.
Of course all these things will be kinks I enjoy myself and for me a big part of the appeal of being a Dom is opening up these wonderful kinks to them.
It is extremely satisfying to watch a sub progress from being timid, doubtful and dubious to being confident and trusting with a willingness to please.

A key point worth mentioning is pace, many times subs feel they want to jump right in and load themselves up with tasks and commitments in their eagerness to get started. This is always a mistake, I deliberately take my time and will only drip feed tasks, waiting for them to complete each one before adding anything more. This way failure is minimised, time is not wasted and lessons get learned.

This of course is my opinion and method, not "the way" and I am very interested to hear what others think.

 

[nina]

There are a lot of fakes who claim about 'training' many subs and people often don't understand what it is and so I decided to make a thread about it to seek insights and practical experiences of those who are more involved in this kind of dynamics.

I don't mean to make a predetermined list of areas of control/rules and follow it rigidly as protocol but to explore and develop it naturally and gradually like you mention while gaining trust and learning about each other. The reason I mentioned this article even while disagreeing with many parts written is how they have categorized areas of control which is interesting and gives some sort of reference to what all areas there can potentially be for those who do not understand how to practically go about dominating. Like as a vanilla newbie I had often seen people asking for permission to cum but did not know this could be categorized as controlling physical activity/body and same goes for even submissive positions, and also that corner time could be classified as control of space etc.

Personally as a mostly vanilla person, it is not feasible for me to explore in either roles except in a very limited scope and in bits and parts and maybe some of this training and protocol is just fantasy that many of us experience only in glimpses/fragments in some rules/tasks etc, unless one is in a full time TPE. However I do feel controlling one small part of someone's life or monitoring accountability to any small extent in a vanilla/kinky activity is also training [their behaviour] of a kind in a wider context and it has an appeal of its own to let someone control some of those intimate areas of one's life wrt D/s.

Again having said that I too believe this is organically developed much after trust is formed, I would also add just like life is constantly changing and so are we and our needs/preferences, any kind of relationship, rules, scope also constantly adapt and modify to be sustainable. Also to me, more than a rigid framework it is just explicitly conveying the scope of exploring already agreed upon at a given level of trust as that is reassuring to both parties.

And like you rightly mention, domination may have many aspects and training may only be one of them and there sure are others like exploring and growing eg. introducing new kinks to people etc. And watching a sub grow and be confident and have trust and willingness to please is indeed central to the idea of domination for sure and maybe one of the greater objectives or fundamental rationale behind Domination.

Training (in the sense of behavioural training or conditioning) if at all included (as not every dynamic incorporates this), is of course only one small part/aspect of domination that is being discussed in this thread, and having said that, training [along with the increased trust aspect] may actually help enhance the feeling of belonging and D/s mindsets for some that would positively impact their willingness to please also.

I also agree about sub frenzy and that it is irritating.