What happened to the Kink Talk?

[Doctor Pervert]

See the name of this forum, Kink Talk, the idea is we talk about kink, get it?

But it seems the forum has degenerated into some kind meeting ground for the posting of lame, softcore photos, the kink has pretty much gone.
If you look at most picture posting sites they will categorise things into softcore, for nude or semi-nude, hardcore for full on porn and usually there will be a little section for kink or bdsm.
Thats because kink isn't common, its unusual, which is why this site was founded for the kinky people to get together and discuss their kinks. Things like bondage, S&M, whips, chains, watersports, and so on.
You'll notice that list doesn't include looking at nude photos and thats because that's a mainstream activity with thousands of sites catering to it. Go visit xhamster or imagefap and you'll have an endless supply of wank material, it will be much better quality and it won't have your IP address stamped all over it.

Yes my big beef is this explosion of so called "exposure" kink. It's not a kink, its not remotely kinky, its just for the most part softcore nudity.

This temp exposed kind of thing reminds me of when I used to talk girls into going behind the bike shed for a quick peek up their skirt and I don't know about you but I grew out of that before high school.

Its not the nudity thats the problem, its the setting, it has no context. If on the other hand the nudity happens in an unusually setting that can make it kinky. Outdoors or in other public places makes it risky exposure, not common so it qualifies as a kink. Or if the photos are in some way humiliating or contain some kind of kinky element, a clothes peg or a bit of rope even?
But no, most are blurry, out of focus badly cropped crap and in many cases not even of the purported poster but stolen from another website!

This marks my 900th post, I like to talk about kink, how about you?

 

[eoin62]

I don’t know, I haven’t been on this site for that long...

... but maybe people don’t want to talk about kink because they don’t feel comfortable when there are judgemental a-holes who think that they are the sole arbitrator of what is and isn’t a kink? I dunno, just a thought.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

... but maybe people don’t want to talk about kink because they don’t feel comfortable when there are judgemental a-holes who think that they are the sole arbitrator of what is and isn’t a kink? I dunno, just a thought.

Really? You join a site called KINK TALK and you don't want to talk about KINK because you might feel judged? Then justify why it is a kink, don't just sling mud.
I qualified and justified what I and I dare say most people consider kink, and I firmly maintain that sneaking a quick peek at a grainy out of focus semi nude photo isn't kinky. It's juvenile. But then perhaps that's the problem after all?

I will agree that what you consider kinky is entirely subjective and based on your own experiences. But in todays world of easily available porn that includes bdsm and other kink not being able to discern the difference between that kink and mainstream porn is unbelievable.

So come on then, someone explain to me why "exposure" on sites like temp.exposed etc is kinky. I have not seen anyone open a thread discussing the pro's and con's, which sites are best, do's and don'ts or anything about them other than when they get shut down. There is no TALK about this supposed KINK.

The only possible element I can see is that some may consider it "risky". When the posted photos don't include any identifiable feature there is no risk at all. I have been an active member of many kink sites for years, some almost 20 years now and have always used current photos of myself in my profiles and avatars. In all that time only once have I been recognised and that was, of course by another kink lover and that is with my face clearly displayed!

My point is there are hundreds of much more appropriate sites for posting amateur nudes, with loads more people to admire your nudity. Go post away as much as you like, just don't call it kinky.

 

[subScoot]

Since this was an invitation to talk I will try. It seems that there is a danger of being too literal in the words because there are some kinks that are probably not acceptable for talk here but are still kinks. We all can think of them. So if there is a wall at one end that is on the inside of the boundaries of kink, do we have to exclude what is kink-ish, from what is kink-y?

I think for some but not all of course exhibitionism is not done just for it's own sake. It is a form of advertising that says if I will do this on my own or as a simple dare, is there a dom/domme out there who wants to lead me to more. In that context it would imho be appropriate.

As a third talk of kink ... here we are the sister site (maybe cousin, maybe adopted) of getdare, and the difference is this site allows nudes, so I guess why wouldn't we expect that. It is this site's distinguishing feature.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

As a third talk of kink ... here we are the sister site (maybe cousin, maybe adopted) of getdare, and the difference is this site allows nudes, so I guess why wouldn't we expect that. It is this site's distinguishing feature.

At last, thank you! You make some good points and I guess this last one is most pertinent the link to getDare. There is most certainly a spillover from there of people wanting to post their nude proofs of dares and that is fine, I get that and it even makes sense when people remember to link it back the original thread on gD. While I still maintain that simply being nude isn't really kinky it at least has some context.

For me the really objectionable part of most of the temp.exposed posts is that many times all they includes is a link. No context, no explanation of why, maybe a "please extend" or similar. So in the end its really no different than just hitting any random porn link to look at photos. Sorry just not kinky.

 

[MissMaria]

I do agree but also disagree to an extent, yes the looking at the photos even I don't see to be all that kinky or even kinkish but the posting douse hold some merit as a kink as at its heart it is exhibitionism which has certainly been considered a kink for many years, the main difference between that and your run of the mill porn sites is usually the porn sites expect to be paid for there material if not for all at least for some, the kinkster is paid by people looking.

It is a shame that a lot of it is out of focus and badly cropped as you say and a bigger shame when it is a fake photo because it defies the point. But for me, at least the kinky part is knowing just how many people are looking at me at any given moment an while that is something I would prefer to do offline in a safe controllable setting I don't have that option so I make use of the options I do have available.

All that said I can see your point of view on the subject and understand why you don't feel it qualifies as a kink and that is a perfectly fine opinion to have.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

I do agree but also disagree to an extent, ...

Thanks for your thoughts, and you again raise some valid points.
In general exhibitionism is usually thought of as being an "in person" activity but I will concede thats not always possible for everyone.

The point about the abusing of the system using fake photos is a big concern, especially if they ex's photos posted for revenge purposes which is why these sites have been shut down in the past.

But for me its just so often disappointing and lame, I've given it a go several times, followed the links then sat there scratching my head thinking "what am I looking at?" Some blurry, vaguely flesh coloured blob that could be a boob or a bum, or, who cares?

 

[lucicle22]

I tend to agree with parts from both of you. I am abit of an exhibitionist but it isn't always possible in real life so have to take the risk of using such sites as temporarily exposure. But I at least try to make my photos decent so you can actually see what it is supposed to be and I myself sometimes get annoyed when the blurry generic ones are posted.

But at the same time I wouldn't class exhibitionist as a kink but more a personality trait. As much as I like being seen doing stuff I never include it in my likes when I'm listing my kinks as I believe that everyone at some point has had some thought of being seen or likes being seen to some extent. Its definitely a varying scale that everyone lies on somewhere.

But I agree that there is little talk happening on here anymore, this site has gone so quiet since I first joined and I will confess to mostly using it as an outpost of getdare now. I used to love this site and the discussions and sessions that used to occur but now it seems, no matter what you do, you are lucky to receive a response.

I think it's obvious from my profile that I'm not afraid to share and I enjoy completing tasks when I have time and permission but it does some times feel like I'm wasting my time because there is little recognition for the contribution.

Sorry... Rant over

 

[Doctor Pervert]

...I think it's obvious from my profile that I'm not afraid to share and I enjoy completing tasks when I have time and permission but it does some times feel like I'm wasting my time because there is little recognition for the contribution.

Sorry... Rant over

And this is exactly why I find the frenzy over the temp exposed stuff so annoying. Here we have one of our top contributing members, someone who is kinky as hell and shares her fun with us all resorting to (no offence Lucy) using temp.exposed to get some attention!
Why does the stuff she posts here get few if any comments? Comments encourage and motivate more contribution. And contributions are what build the site, not endless lists of links to outside sites.

Rant decidedly not over!

 

[pranadevil]

Why does the stuff she posts here get few if any comments?

Because, for the most part, Kink Talk is just viewed as "The bit of GetDare to post nudes on".

Everything on this forum is on GD except the nudes. Want to find a sub or dom? GD has many more people on it. Want to find tasks to do? GD has more contributors. Want to find advice about certain activities? Again, GD has more people thus more collaborative information.

So people come here, view the pics, and go right back to GD.

As for the pictures themselves, many won't comment because they are, like you said, just nudes that have been posted. Nothing specifically kinky for many, and those that are, may not be the kinks people enjoy so much. I know I rarely comment on pictures, and when I do they have to be something that sparks my interest. If it's simply a nude body, that won't spark my interest.

On Temporarily Exposed, the pictures are open to everyone on the site, and so you get seen by hundreds, if not thousands, more people. But it has its draw backs as well, namely the site runs like shit for the most part, and anyone can have images pulled just by reporting them, so you can post your own images, and someone else can report them anonymously, and without your approval they get taken down. Obviously this is in an attempt to stop revenge porn type stuff, but it means legitimate people get screwed too.

Back to this forum. Unless something is done to stop it simply being the lesser twin to GetDare, it's going to stay this way, and to be honest, I'm not entirely certain we need both forums anyway. There's absolutely no reason GD couldn't host the same pictures KT does as both have the same stuff needed when signing up. There's no verification, so underage users can lie and be on here just as simply as they can on GD, and the excuse of "more underage users will see GD" or some such, is a waste of time as there's a great big link to KT there anyway, which basically means "Hey, this is where the dirty pictures are if you want to see them". So it doesn't stop underage users looking at what they want anyway.

 

[Hammarling]

There's a few separate things to address here, 1) Fading interest in KT as a site, 2) the rise of temporarily exposed, and 3) how you view those sites in a kink/bdsm context.

1) Fading interest in KT
It's simple for me, KT just doesn't have the userbase and activity level when compared to other sites like GetDare, Tumblr or Fetlife. If i'm fancying a conversation about someing kinky i head to those other places knowing i will get proper discussion with several people pretty quickly. And i know there will be plenty of pretty good posts from other people to interact with.
KT doesn't have that. Not enough real conversation and not enough people. And most of the people are on other sites anyway using those more often.
Honestly i just come here to look at the Albums and see if there is a random post of interest. Posts don't get replys, PM's don't get replys. You can't blame me for going somewhere else.

Bit of a chicken egg thing. Is KT quiet because people go elsewhere, but because people go elsewhere KT becomes quiet... it's a hard to break cycle. KT needs to start offering something unique. GD has Chat i use reasonably often, Fetlife has a huge userbase, Tumblr has excellent post integration and browsing. KT has... nudes?

2) Rise of Temporarily Exposed
Is it a good thing? I don't think it's bad or damaging. I find it fun to flick through pretty much daily! Yes a lot of it is poor quality, reposts, nothing risky but as an easy free source of amateur nude content it's excellent. I've also made a few really good contacts through TE on kik and skype i talk to often. And there are some really good posts that are risky and kinky, if you are willing to give a bit of time to find them.

3) TE + Exhibitionism as Kink
Your dismissiveness of TE outright as not kinky is slightly surprising. Although i guess we differ fundamentally on whether Exhibitionism is a kink or not.
I think it is. Weaing something uncommon, taking pictures of myself, sharing any of that. They give me the same feelings and responses as doing bondage or other kink tasks. To me they are not different.
I will agree posting a non-nude without your face visile in your bathroom isn't kinky, it's not exhibitionism. But if it's nude, no face in my bathroom and i'm posting it online then for me that is exhibitionism. TE is a public setting and if i'm nude on there them i'm exposing myself in a public seting, and that by definition is exhibitionism.

This is all academic if you don't view exhibitionism as a kink to begin with.

Coming back round to the point
But if come to KT and read that post by a staff member/admin being so dismissive of it as a kink, maybe this isn't a place i want to talk about it. So i'll go to a different site, like GD, Fet, Tumblr and talk about it there instead. And if i'm talking about one kink there i might as well talk about other kinks there as well.

 

[lucicle22]

You have a valid point there but, as said before, exhibitionist is a kink to some and not a kink to others, everyone's opinion differs but that does not mean that anyone's opinion is wrong. I do, as I said, post there myself occasionally, but only if I want seeing by a wider audience. To me, even posting nudes on here is exposing yourself to strangers, just the people on here are garunteed to enjoy firms of kink when temporarily exposed can be seen by anyone.

Personally I have had trouble on sites such as fetlife which is a shame as I used to enjoy it on there. But when I actually think about it, this is the only site which I haven't received abuse on... So far... Fingers crossed it stays that way.

Everyone with enjoy different sites for different reasons whether it be the breadth of information available, the people on them or just the interface itself.

So as much as I use other sites I personally am sad to see kinktalk deteriorating as it can be an amazing place when it gets going.

 

[MissMaria]

You have a valid point there but, as said before, exhibitionist is a kink to some and not a kink to others, everyone's opinion differs but that does not mean that anyone's opinion is wrong. I do, as I said, post there myself occasionally, but only if I want seeing by a wider audience. To me, even posting nudes on here is exposing yourself to strangers, just the people on here are garunteed to enjoy firms of kink when temporarily exposed can be seen by anyone.

Personally I have had trouble on sites such as fetlife which is a shame as I used to enjoy it on there. But when I actually think about it, this is the only site which I haven't received abuse on... So far... Fingers crossed it stays that way.

Everyone with enjoy different sites for different reasons whether it be the breadth of information available, the people on them or just the interface itself.

So as much as I use other sites I personally am sad to see kinktalk deteriorating as it can be an amazing place when it gets going.

I can't coments on how it could have been because it was quiet on here already when I joined that said I do visit this site when on gD so would be nice to see it expand

 

[Centurion01]

For me, i'll list some of the reasons I dont use this site much anymore..

So, 'dommes' fidom, that want payment...
- way too many make accounts on this site, look at the adverts, the vast majority of 'female' ads are from these, or... guys..

The females that post saying the want exposure, humiliating and the like... ive contacted many, some even posted in this thread.. and I can count on one hand how many respond..
- to me if you want humiliating or want people to give attention to your posts and albums, it would atleast be considered courteousy to reply toa message. If some one is taking the time to A, read a thread, and B respond.. then the op to me is to blame.

Bad adverts, is another thing, countless guys/girls/others have posted horrid ads, many day nothing about anything..
eg, 22/m wants dom... a few likes and limits listed,
No reason to why that person likes those, or what theyve done... no context.

I could spend hours writing about why things are my pet peeves on this site..

I my opinion its the lack of effort from the vast majority.

Say have a look at the new posts, have a scan and see how many threads are new, from memebers that want something.. then check that poster out, either their new (with no bio, profile unfilled, multiple threads created with no/very little feedback- whether that be from no tasks given to them.. or on threads with tasks, no worthy responses)

I personally posted to threads of people wishing a punishment, (no reason why stated ok... so they just want something to do/ to get punished for what ever reason) I post a task.. and either get a lame response, (thanks this was painful) or none..

As a dare giver i'd like feedback..
Doesnt have to be a novel, but, something that helps with how said person managed how said person improvised, which parts they liked, which they didnt...
without feedback, it A- gives no incentive to spend time creating a task, B- no satisfaction, C- doesnt help others with the op.
None of us are mindreaders yet so many thread creators here and on getdare seem to think we are.

A dare giver, isnt perfect either, most get fed up with wasting their time they become complacent and give easy, quick tasks because why waste 10mins writing a task suited to that poster when (not all, but so few) never log in again.. never write a report.. or give such a dreadful report it makes you wonder did they even read the task..


To me, some changes need to get made on how people sign up to this site,
Some are you human checks, for reducing the bots.
A minimum account age, before posting a new thread- to show that the person actually has a interest that last longer than the 5 minute sign up and posting of a unoriginal 'advert' or thread.

And a, rule, a banable rule where fakes, (guys pretending to be female), 'female' adverts and the like where you read and never once stats that the person posting is a biological guy..

I have nothing against sissys, trans, gays, ive played with some meeting that criteria and still do.. yet i'd prefer to know prior to getting duped.

I propose that the profiles MUST be filled with a minimum of age, sex and preferred gender, remove the unknown, because honestly what purpose does that serve, adding a 'other' with a self description would be better.

In the user profiles on a thread, like where it has their kinktalk ranks.. add a scoring, so when that person creates a thread, based on their feedback to the thread, how they communicate with posters etc they can be ranked #/5 for example, then if a poster doesn't give any meaningful feedback/report etc they have a poor score. And visible to see, making it easier and simpler to see if someone is likely to waste your time, maybe add a average days/time between login counter also, so you can easily see how active (or atleast how often) the person visits the site.

Perhaps, for new adverts a category style system..
Like description section (where the user can write what they would like to say), experience, likes/dislikes/limits, contact methods (pm, through the thread, kik etc), toys/implements, availability.
Each section must have something entered before the thread can be posted..
This would give actual context to a advert, would cut down on the poor spam adverts, since people wouldnt post for the sake of posting..

 

[shadowice0823]

to be honest this site has always been kind of dead and just used by gd members to post nudes because for some reason an 18+ site cant have nudes posted on it which is silly these days. We never had a way to chat in real time here refreshing to see if you got a pm trying to carry a conversation with someone just doesn't work. We really needed a chat room awhile back, and even in the old days the mod team here was horrible. They just didn't care at all to login or clean up spam, the newer ones are much more active.

Also not to pick sides or anything but its borderline gate keeping to say what some people consider a kink to not be a kink. You cant try to divide the community like that, I understand posting random nudes of like porn stars or stuff you found online because that is just spam in my eyes when there is no context. But people posting images of themselves should always be welcomed we all love some exposure in one way or another. It doesnt matter if its soft/hardcore/bdsm etc.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Well it seems if I poke the nest hard enough the ants wake up, some actual KINK TALK for a change!

Still a little sad that its mostly the reliable few veterans of the site but we have to start somewhere, and good to see at least a couple of new faces chime in.

I still maintain that simple nudity isn't kinky but then thats just my OPINION, not site policy nor is it ever likely to be. Perhaps its partly due to my living 250m from a nudist beach the last couple of years. I spent many an evening fishing off the beach and chatting casually to the passing Swedish backpackers strolling butt naked along that glorious beach. I am going to miss that, it added to an already stunning view.

But I would like to get a little more serious and address some of the points raised.

Spammers, findoms, bots and other pests. A while back we introduced a new step in the sign up procedure, older members won't have seen this but newer members will. Basically it is a standard account activation email sent to the members registered email address. While not a total screen it has cut bot activity here a huge amount, it has also incidentally caught out many fakes using bogus email accounts!
A lot of the continuing stuff seems to be using manually created accounts, we catch and ban these as soon as we spot them and delete their posts.
Some of the findom accounts are harder to catch, they are getting smarter about not giving away their intentions on the profile and posts so we rely on users to report them. We always act on reported findoms or anyone asking for or offering money in exchange for services.

Fakes and catfish. This is very problematic for us as it isn't specifically prohibited by the board rules. This has been debated here and many places and the big issue is many consider it to be a form of "role play", I do not agree with this simply because if it is role play then be honest about what you're doing so the other party knows you are not who you say you are. The most effective way to combat these pests is by calling them out in their posts. If their activity is malicious or causing problems we will act on reports and ban them.

Not leaving comments. Sorry I don't buy this, even if you just pop over from gD to look at the pics why not leave a comment so that person knows you looked? Do you then go back to gD and pm them to comment on the pics, I doubt it? It takes seconds to write "Great photo, thanks for posting" and it shows you participate. And its the same on posts, if someone does write something fun or informative and you can't add to it then just a simple, "That was interesting, thanks." will keep the user motivated to post more. When we see nothing its like Lucy said, you kind of wonder why you bother to put any effort in.

And finally the "chicken and the egg" conundrum. Well as I have just proven, if you stir up the right topic the responses flow. So in this case I think the solution is easy, start posting or if you can't come up with a post at least respond to something you've looked at.

So I'll leave you to ponder (and hopefully debate more) with a shot of my fishing spot on Cable Beach, sorry no nude Swedish backpackers in this one, well not visible anyway, maybe off in the distance...

 

[Centurion01]

That is a awesome sky.

Another point that hinders things (mostly from the females ive played/talked with) is people exposing them..
Theres been many times a guy has spread/posted pictures of their female sub without permission..

Perhaps a title instead of 'kink talk member' etc a nice red 'exposer' there instead, and albums when created of other people to have a picture of the said person holding a expose me sign or such..? And those that dont play fair to their sub will be named and shamed so other future subs will know easily that this person may not be trust worthy.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Perhaps a title instead of 'kink talk member' etc a nice red 'exposer' there instead, and albums when created of other people to have a picture of the said person holding a expose me sign or such..? And those that dont play fair to their sub will be named and shamed so other future subs will know easily that this person may not be trust worthy.

I like this idea, it may be something we can actually do. I will discuss it with the admins, although to be honest if we find someone has deliberately posted pics under these circumstances we generally ban them!

 

[An inactive user]

I can easily say that I'm a longtimer with some hours on here under my belt. Without going into wether exposing is a kink or not since this is different from person to person. I must say i do find the lack of responses from people the problem.

From time to time I try to respond to people wanting dares or punishments. Most of them say well thanks nice idea i will try it when i have the time and then never respond. I don't mind giving out tasks and dares but as I mostly state to the people I tend to contact is that i understand nobody these days tends to send pictures so I don't expect them. I mostly say pictures would be lovely and a warm welcome but I would really like at least a report.

For some reason most of the people I talk to in this way suddenly die i guess since after that i never get a response back which in all honesty irretates me.

On the other side of the spectrum is the amout of people talking to me on Kik or Cipher or any other program that are interested to stuff i broadcasted here or somewhere else on the internet. For some reason they always seem to be a girl with an age between 18 and 26. You do some tasks for them share some pictures and then it's like yeah I'm actually a guy but i did not expect to receive anything when being honest so i lied.

The reason I ask for an ASL is mostly age and that i like to know who I'm talking to in a general way.

Since these points are hard to address and people on the internet are anonymously it's hard to do something about it.

Then going on about kinks, I think the most people come here from getdare and I'll be honest its how i came here but I do not tend to go to getdare anymore since it's core is gone and spread out across the whole spectrum.

As the Doctor stated it's sad to see this decline in responses on pictures. I got some up myself and if i count the reply's I get I can honestly say it's not really appealing to post more pictures since nobody seems to like them anyway. That's why I tend to leave a reply beneath the pictures i liked seeing.

Well Rant over and back to the order of the day.

 

[lucicle22]

Everyone has some valid points. It's nice to see some discussion.

I would personally like to take this chance to apologise if I have ever not responded to anyone. I am rather busy at the moment so don't always get the chance to reply so I can be fussy occasionally about who I respond to, also sometimes I do just forget and I need a reminder. I'm not perfect I know that, noone ever claims to be, but unfortunately life gets in the way sometimes.

I honestly think this site could be great again and I do what I can to contribute towards it when I have the time, with the occasional slip up as to be expected, I am only human.

I am happy to discuss further if anyone wants to pm me, I will respond when I can, but just keep in mind that it wont always be immediate. I do also have Kik which I find easier to keep track of.