What to do after Tying her up?


Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
Apr 1, 2016
ok. first off, I am completely new to this. and I am here because this is what my wife is into. I don't think I mind it, and it may even be fun. I just have no clue what to do and it makes it more frustrating than fun for either of us.

we have been married for about 7 years. she has always told me that she likes me to be in control, to tie her up and do what I want to, to her. she likes to be blind folded as well.

here is the thing. over 7 years, I never paid much attention to it. I guess i didn't realize how bad she wanted to do this or how much she liked it. I try every now and then but it just makes me feel stupid because I have no idea what I am doing. sure I can put on some hand cuffs or tie her to the bed (we have this thing that goes under the mattress that you can tie hands and feet to), I can put the blind fold on her... but that's were I start to get lost. again, she tells me she wants me to take control and make her do what I want.... problem is, what I actually want, is "boring" sex. so, I have to come up with something here. I really have no clue what to do.

PLEASE, any ideas of what to do that doesn't involve pain would be great. I will be looking around the site as much as i can also.

she isn't into the pain aspect. and that's what I find a lot of when I do a search. she sometimes forgets to use "Incognito" in the browser when she watches porn, so sometimes I can go watch what she watched to try and get an idea of what she likes. but it seems what she likes and what she can handle are not the same. so I can't go by that I don't think.


Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Submissive
Feb 6, 2016
As a sob myself who likes being tied up I know there can be a gap between my fantasies and what I will risk in reality. I want my wildest fantasies to be realized but I have to be coaxed into it. When you look at what she has been watching you will get clues as to her fantasies but get there gently. There are some questions as to what she likes - where does she like to be touched, does she prefer full nudity or sexy clothes?

Here are some possibilities', starting with her tied spread eagle on the bed. Put a towel under her to protect the bed. I prefer for the sub (her in this case) to be fully nude but for the time being we'll assume she is dressed in something sexy. Stroke her gently through the clothing, working your way round her entire body. Avoid the breasts at first as your hands run up her sides, then move further onto them finishing with the nipples. Accidentally let your fingertips touch her pussy lips as you run your hands up her thighs. Nibble her nipples gently through the cloth. Lie on top of her kissing her round the neck eyes and lips. If she's wearing panties pull them up so the cloth goes into her pussy crack then run your finger up and down the crease concentrating on her clit. You can add to the sensuality by wetting what she's wearing. And then you can move on to feeling inside the garments. I'll leave the details to you. What she's wearing can't be worth more that ecstatic sex. So rip it off, first the top, then the panties. Carefully caress each part of her body as you uncover it. Be ruthless in stripping her, gentle in caressing and stroking her and totally unpredictable as to what you are going to do next. She wants to give herself to you breaking her taboos, being apprehensive but enjoying it. She is the sub, you are her master. Let her know that. Tell her you will punish her if she pulls away from you. Punishment can be a slapped tit or pussy or a squeezed nipple. Painful but not too painful. By now you should be working on instinct, but not too fast. Make her want you, want you always to go faster than you are. So you might concentrate on her clit before entering her cunt, even with your fingers. Lap up her juices and stroke her G spot with your fingertips.

It will be so much better if she is naked. You can start by giving her a full body massage, initially rubbing oil into every part of her you can. use a mixture of light strokes, firm strokes, tickling and your fingers dancing over her skin. Start with the lower leg working your way up to her thigh and stopping as your fingers accidentally brush her pussy lips. Repeat with the other leg. Then move to the hips, up the sides and back down and gently on to the yummy. use both hands together, one on each side. Your hands work up to her breasts. First just pass gently over them, then lightly need then with a circular motion, Finish be tweaking the nipples. Don't stop there from now your movements should be unpredictable. What you are doing is sensual, rather than sexual, for now.

Another possibility is to trickle sweat sauce on her and lick it off. drink wine from her belly button.

There is an advantage in having her standing while she is tied up Two strong loops secured to the ceiling are useful, about 4 feet apart. You can drop a rope from each one to tie her wrists. With hands tied outstretched like that she is helpless no matter how free her feet are. The advantage is that you can reach her back as well as her front. Or you can reach round her - grabbing the buttocks from the front or her tits from the back. You can caress (or kiss) her entire body. Bottom spanking is also effective, not just as punishment but to warm things up. I would avoid anything anal unless you know she is in to it.


Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jan 11, 2016

Make her beg for orgasms, bring her the the brink of orgasm and then slow down or stop. Don't allow her to orgasm till you want her too.


Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Switch
Aug 10, 2014
Take it one step at a time

Start by talking with her about what she likes and would like try out. Maybe make a list and have her answer them to give you ideas for example

You might also want to look into websites like fetlife.com, think of it as Facebook but for kinky, form this site you might be able to find local munches. A munche is a casual public place kinky people get together to meet new people etc. Good place to meet new people who will have lots of experience and knowledge to help you out.

Also this site has plenty of how to videos

From there it's just about learning, does she liked to be spanked, gagged how about nipple and pussy clamps. Tie her up in various positions and see how she enjoys them like spread eagle but on her stomach, to a chair etc. Go ahead and have sex with her any way you desire then for the heck of it leave her tied up, just don't leave her alone safety first. Try out what's called edging use a vibrator and let her enjoy it but do not let her come just stop and let her squirm for a while :)

Since she likes to be blindfolded she might enjoy sensory deprivation. So put some headphones on/in her ears and play some music now she cannot see or hear what is coming. Something I did was put together a few mp3's of women having sex, some being spanked etc. and played that while she awaited whatever I was going to do.

Take it one step at a time try out different stuff at first lightly/slowly and she how she likes it and have her tell you if she wants more. Learn what her limits are so you know as well.

Just a few things you should keep in mind. Safety first, so have her give you a safe word and if she uses it stop whatever you are doing and find out why she used it. Never leave her alone especially if she's gagged.