Baby steps?

[jimmydean]

Hi,

I floated the idea of watching my fiance have sex with another man, and she seemed open to it. When I asked if she'd really do it, she said something to the effect of, "if thats what you want." I thought that this seemed hesitant, but then maybe she wants to do it, but doesn't want to sound slutty? Either way, when i brought it up later, she said that she was afraid that the change in dynamic would make me look at her differently. I asked her that it wouldn't, but we haven't really talked about it since. I was wondering if anybody had ideas for small steps that i could take toward the end goal of her being comfortable in decisions Siriano with other guys.

For instance, i thought that maybe she'd be more open to a threesome with me and another guy, and maybe that could be something of an ice breaker. I haven't brought that up yet though.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

**I'm not really looking for Amber's like, "you just need honest communication" or anything like that lol i know**

 

[dearelliot]

I wonder if the thought might have occurred to her, after, you might have regrets....and be upset she went along.,

 

[Doctor Pervert]

I thought that this seemed hesitant

Nailed it.

You want this, she doesn't, it's a bookmark answer because she didn't want to say no.
There's a thing about consent that says you're not just looking for a yes, you're looking for a "hell yes!"
If she had been at all keen on the idea she would have expanded the conversation then and there, asked questions about how it would work etc and shown actual interest. On the second try she only raised concerns, again no actual interest.

You wanting it isn't enough reason to keep pursuing it, this whole "baby steps to convince her" is flawed if she doesn't want to do it.

My advice, unless she raises the idea take the hints already given and drop it.