Doms and Masochists that are Not Subs
- Thread starter Ivan
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Me and Chloe had a different view on the question of what a Masochist is a few days ago. So before i can answer you question it would be good if you define what you see as a Masochist.
Someone that wants to be physically hurt or someone that has the need to be forced to do things he hates to do ...?
Someone that wants to be physically hurt or someone that has the need to be forced to do things he hates to do ...?
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I think (not really sure) that the difference would be that a Dom and a masochist can be occasional play partners but it would be difficult to develop a relationship beyond that since it would not be satisfying for both, especially the Dom, in the long run...
But again, it really depends on how one defines a masochist...
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My 2 cents
I've been wandering around the site for a while figure I might drop a few opinions off here.
By psychological definition a masochist is one who derives pleasure from having pain and/or humiliation inflicted upon them. This can be in many forms from actual physical pain to, as you stated, being forced to do something and being humiliated in doing so.
The way you stated your question somewhat confused me and I'm guessing what you're asking is the difference between Dom/masochist vs. Dom/sub. I guess the easiest way to explain it, or how I see it in my life and experiences, is to not refer to is as Dom in both situations. Sadist/masochist and Dom/sub work better.
In S/m you have one who likes to inflict pain and humiliation and one who likes to receive it. This can boil down into even vanilla relationships as a simple slap on the ass while having sex or pulling hair and can be as intricate as your imagination and the physical limitations of the masochist can handle. Also in S/m it tends to end when the session ends and that's the extent of it.
In D/s it's more of a power transfer while most subs would be considered masochistic it wouldn't be the driving force of the relationship. Unlike S/m relationships someone in D/s would be more likely to retain the role for a longer period of time as it's part of who they are to serve the person out of fear and respect rather than to seek some physical pleasure. Granted subs usually get physical pleasure in some way out of the serving and I as a Dom usually give a reward as well when I am pleased, however, the ultimate reason for the actions is not to gain pleasure from the humiliation of the act as to a sub it is not humiliating to serve it is an honour to serve their Dom.
Ultimately it comes down to masochism is more of a pleasure seeking side of things, almost like a fetish, whereas, submission is more of an attitude and personality that makes the person feel as if they are doing something for a purpose not to gain pleasure.
Correct me if you see things differently and sorry if I misinterpreted the question I was confused by the wording. Hope this helped.
I've been wandering around the site for a while figure I might drop a few opinions off here.
By psychological definition a masochist is one who derives pleasure from having pain and/or humiliation inflicted upon them. This can be in many forms from actual physical pain to, as you stated, being forced to do something and being humiliated in doing so.
The way you stated your question somewhat confused me and I'm guessing what you're asking is the difference between Dom/masochist vs. Dom/sub. I guess the easiest way to explain it, or how I see it in my life and experiences, is to not refer to is as Dom in both situations. Sadist/masochist and Dom/sub work better.
In S/m you have one who likes to inflict pain and humiliation and one who likes to receive it. This can boil down into even vanilla relationships as a simple slap on the ass while having sex or pulling hair and can be as intricate as your imagination and the physical limitations of the masochist can handle. Also in S/m it tends to end when the session ends and that's the extent of it.
In D/s it's more of a power transfer while most subs would be considered masochistic it wouldn't be the driving force of the relationship. Unlike S/m relationships someone in D/s would be more likely to retain the role for a longer period of time as it's part of who they are to serve the person out of fear and respect rather than to seek some physical pleasure. Granted subs usually get physical pleasure in some way out of the serving and I as a Dom usually give a reward as well when I am pleased, however, the ultimate reason for the actions is not to gain pleasure from the humiliation of the act as to a sub it is not humiliating to serve it is an honour to serve their Dom.
Ultimately it comes down to masochism is more of a pleasure seeking side of things, almost like a fetish, whereas, submission is more of an attitude and personality that makes the person feel as if they are doing something for a purpose not to gain pleasure.
Correct me if you see things differently and sorry if I misinterpreted the question I was confused by the wording. Hope this helped.
I basically agree with what ofthenorth said. While they are commonly found together, D/s and S/m are not the same thing. Submitting is about ... submitting to your dominant's will. Masochism is about enjoying pain, sadism about enjoying giving it.
Theoretically it should be possible to have a D/s relationship in which the dominant orders the submissive to hurt them for the dominant's pleasure, but I think that it's extremely unlikely that you'd ever come across such a relationship. It is however fairly likely that you'd find a relationship in which both partners were equals, but one liked giving pain, one receiving.
Theoretically it should be possible to have a D/s relationship in which the dominant orders the submissive to hurt them for the dominant's pleasure, but I think that it's extremely unlikely that you'd ever come across such a relationship. It is however fairly likely that you'd find a relationship in which both partners were equals, but one liked giving pain, one receiving.
