Feeling a bit lost.....

[tempered_sugar]

Over the past month or so I have been feeling more and more demotivated, over everything. I've been putting my university work off as much as possible, havn't really felt like any kind of BDSM play and just in general feeling low.

I've recently had a bit of a health worry as well and I'm still not sure what is wrong and won't untill my Dr appointment next week. I am hardly ever semi-seriously ill and I just feel like I have a bit of a cloud hanging over me. I don't think it's helping my motivation issues but it isn't the whole problem. To be honest I hav no idea what is wrong.

I guess it is just a blue faze but I don't want that!!! I want to just be content, which I know I actually am but it just doesn't seem to improve my mood knowing that. Mr and me are doing just fine and we see each other regularly, apart from a few blips (that everyone gets) I am very happy and content. So why the hell do I feel like this?!

I am feeling slightly guilty at the moment as well. Because I am so demotivated and a few other things I just don't.....want any kind of sexual play. I don't feel attractive right now and I just in general feel crap about myself and sex is the last thing I want. The ironic thing is sexual play makes me feel happy (like most people), wanted and loved. Other things make me feel that way but sex sure helps.

So like I said I feel guilty. I know sex isn't everything in a relationship but it is stupid to deny it counts. I feel like I am in a way spoiling our relationship. Not helping it in any way and I guess my moods aren't helping either. Most of the time I just want to be left to myself and don't want hugs or kisses and then others I go a bit clingy and don't want to be left alone.

I guess the prorpose of me writting this was just to mull over what is going on. I think a key problem right now is the health thing, its been going on for a while so I guess over time it has gotten me down without me realising. So fingers crossed for Tuesday I just get to find out what is wrong And then I can stop being stupid and a girly girl and just get on with things!!

 

[SubMissChievous]

Sad to learn you're not feeling well I wish you a to get well soon and especially that it is nothing bad.

I can understand how it makes you feel. Something similar happened to me last winter (I have explained all of that in my blog).

I don't know if I can give any good advice. The only thing that comes to mind is do things that you enjoy to keep some positive vibes even if it's only simple things like watching a good movie, etc. Spoil yourself a bit I know it doesn't solve problems but it can help stay positive

Anyway, I hope you get to feel better soon

 

[sum1]

Aww baby. You know i'm here to help motivate you in anyway i can, or anything else for that matter. And if you're in the mood not to have hugs i'm happy just sitting next to you you're not spoiling things at all by not wanting sexy time, i love your company and i love you! Tuesday doc will say what's going on, i should have made you go earlier (you would have if it was me ill) but i fully understand why you didn't want to. And remember that nurse lady on the nhs phone thing said it was probably nothing serious. Wish i could be there with you tues xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[aron878]

Aww. I do hope everything works out tomorrow.

 

[Agent Green]

I've struggled a lot with depression and know how destructive it can be. I wish you the best and hope you are able to get a hold on it.