Hello sorry it has been a bit longer than I had wanted but I recently started working as a waitress. I've decided to close the last poll with the posting of this blog. Anyway onto the topic at hand sadism like other broad fetishes this one will be divided into about three or more definitions so here it is:
Sadism: sadism is one of the five major fetishes in BDSM, those five being bondage, Sadism/domination, Masochism/Submission, Humiliation, and Pain. For starters sadism can be viewed in three ways; first as extreme domination, second as being the major fetish to domination, and third the way I've decided to view it as being the same as domination now that isn't necessarily saying that if you are a dom/domme then you have to be a sadist. In a whole sadism is basically the fetish where one person becomes aroused by forcing another person to submit to your own will either through force, pain, humiliation, or through their own desire to submit. The key thing to focus on here is that it is the PLEASURE that you feel when someone submits to you, not the act of another submitting, so in other words the easiest way to check and see if you have this fetish is to see if you get aroused simply from having another person submit to you, even if just slightly then it means you have the fetish to an extent. Now I know what you are thinking "a sadist is the type of person that gets off on making others feel horrible, but as a dom/domme I prefer being nice so therefore I can't be a sadist, right?" well you'd be wrong like many other fetishes sadism has many levels and depending on the view you take you don't necessarily have to be a whip toting dominatrix to be a sadist. In general each category under sadism has three different versions of itself so I'll mostly be defining a version and then giving a brief summary of how the other versions are different from the one I defined, in general here are the types, humiliation, pain, and both. The categories are softcore sadism, moderate sadism, and Hardcore Sadism. In order to avoid confusion I'll be only giving a full definition for the both type of each category.
Softcore Sadism: Softcore is basically the fetish where someone enjoys making another submit but doesn't wish to cause the person to much pain or humiliation, however depending on the person's individual tastes they may still lean towards one extreme more than the other. The biggest defining characteristic of a softcore sadism fetish is a deep level of care and/or compassion for the sub involved in the relationship, because of this compassion the dom/domme may be hesitant to push the subs boundaries or try anything that could harm or change the sub in any way (by change I mean things like anal expansion training or prolonged nipple clamps etc.). The humiliation version of this category is even more limited in what the dom/domme may do because they will try not to physically harm the sub in any way, and for the pain version it would be the same thing just with pain instead of humiliation. Most people that are doms/dommes and are on this site mostly for specific fetish play and less for the whole BDSM/S&M experience fall into this category.
Moderate Sadism: Moderate Sadism is the most common level of sadism on kinktalk, meaning that most people fall into this category assuming they have any interest in domination and they are a sadist. This level has less compassion and caring but still enough to keep the sub safe. The biggest difference between moderate and softcore is that softcore often leads to issues involving advancing a sub's training beyond a certain point, where as a moderate sadist would have little problem advancing the training as long as they knew the sub wanted it and they stayed informed about how things were going. However like a softcore sadist, moderate sadists will also stop at permanent damage to the sub. When it goes to pain or humiliation versions this category may mean that the dom/domme will become rather to very extreme in one direction but usually on the other hand they are very caring when it comes to the other side of things. Finally often time people will become a moderate sadist after a while simply because in the beginning they may be very scared or uncertain of how to proceed but after gaining some confidence and experience as a dom/domme then many of them will become moderate sadists, which is why I do suggest that in general try pairing up either two experienced people or one inexperienced person and one experienced person when you are looking for a sub/dom.
Hardcore Sadism: this is the very small group of people that most people usually think of when you mention the word sadism now that doesn't necessarily mean that they are bad people that don't have any form of kindness or compassion towards their subs but it does mean that being in a relationship with them will have a tendency to be more rough. These people have a tendency to be more extreme when it comes to pain play and humiliation, however on the other hand many of them are very experienced and as such conduct themselves with a sort of professional attitude towards domming, so you don't have to worry about not being experienced assuming that the dom/domme will take the time to train you, then you are practically in the best hands possible. The sort of extreme activities that fall into this category are dehumanization, extreme humiliation, extreme control (like up to the level of controlling your daily life extreme), as well as the possibility of bruising, extreme pain, and forms of training that may make others want to run away (things like nipple or clit enlargement). Finally a hardcore sadist may want a sub to be marked or "branded" to them aside from using an actual brand which is very uncommon many may want you to get a tattoo some where or get piercings on certain parts of your body (for girls it's usually either nipples and/or clit, guys I believe it's penis) however this is ultimately up to you the worst that can happen is you have to look for a new dom/domme. When it comes to the humiliation or pain types of hardcore sadism it is very similar to the humiliation and pain sub-types of moderate sadism but with one main difference hardcore sadists will have a tendency to simply throw out the use of the opposite fetish so a pain one wouldn't even attempt humiliation and vice versa, where as in moderate sadism the dom/domme may still use them as punishments.
Now then as a final warning there is something I like to call pseudo hardcore sadists, most of which on this site are either teenagers (usually boys often hiding their age) that watch a lot of fetish porn and/or read a lot of hentai revolving around bdsm, mind break, or body modification and assume they can do the same things, or they are simply new members that wish to get into BDSM or S&M but don't actually do much research so they simply end up being examples for the stereotype. Now luckily unlike the actual hardcore sadists most of these pseudo sadists are very rude and not that professional, they also act like they are above you half the time, and nine times out of ten will attempt to get you to do something that is dangerous, now you're thinking how is that "lucky" because it makes them easy to pick out basically when applying to be a sub for someone hardcore just think of it this way pretend they are your perspective boss at an interview naturally you would want the one that is more professional (after all you would want to get payed for your work right). Unfortunately this also swings the other way to show there are pseudo masochists but that's for another time.
Psychology: I decided to do this because certain people would get angry if I didn't make a point of talking about the psychology of this fetish. stereo typically sadist are people with a very high and mighty or cruel and abusive personalities, but in general that isn't true, a sadist usually has a personality similar to anyone else's the main differences are that they are prone to confrontation a bit more and may have a tendency to pick on people. As far as the psychology of the fetish goes it is deeply rooted in the pleasure a sadist gets from making another person either submit to them or just from giving them a hard time, now that doesn't mean they are specifically bullies, they often times do this in a very friendly way (such as seeking out a competition, playing games, or just friendly picking on each other) or they may only do this sort of stuff in bed where it gets more naughty
Am I a sadist? Yes and no, if I had to say I'd be a sadomasochist because I'm a switch so I'm into both I'd say I'm somewhere between a moderate and hardcore sadist and as for masochism I'm pretty hardcore, once you flip that switch be prepared to totally dominate me haha.
Short Stories, unfortunately I won't be doing any short stories for this fetish as of yet because I won't post about other people without their consent and I don't to post from me being the sub because when I tried writing it several times it always ended up being more submissive focused as opposed to being focused on the actual fetish. However if I get consent in the future than I will post in another blog titled (sadism, short stories) the short stories.
Rating: 8 out of 10
Individual Ratings:
Personal Rating: 7.5 out of 10, more of a sub than a domme
BDSM Rating: 10 out of 10 as one of the essential fetishes in bdsm it obviously gets a good rating
Domination: 10 out of 10, basically the fetish is domination so...
Submission: 2 out of 10, it would be zero but since sadists work closely with subs I gave it a couple points.
Kinkiness: 9 out of 10, mmm it's just very kinky I guess
Weirdness: 3 out of 10, on this site sadism is probably more common than normal sex.
Future Funday: just letting everyone know that the winner of the last poll was pet play hehe can't wait!!
Sadism: sadism is one of the five major fetishes in BDSM, those five being bondage, Sadism/domination, Masochism/Submission, Humiliation, and Pain. For starters sadism can be viewed in three ways; first as extreme domination, second as being the major fetish to domination, and third the way I've decided to view it as being the same as domination now that isn't necessarily saying that if you are a dom/domme then you have to be a sadist. In a whole sadism is basically the fetish where one person becomes aroused by forcing another person to submit to your own will either through force, pain, humiliation, or through their own desire to submit. The key thing to focus on here is that it is the PLEASURE that you feel when someone submits to you, not the act of another submitting, so in other words the easiest way to check and see if you have this fetish is to see if you get aroused simply from having another person submit to you, even if just slightly then it means you have the fetish to an extent. Now I know what you are thinking "a sadist is the type of person that gets off on making others feel horrible, but as a dom/domme I prefer being nice so therefore I can't be a sadist, right?" well you'd be wrong like many other fetishes sadism has many levels and depending on the view you take you don't necessarily have to be a whip toting dominatrix to be a sadist. In general each category under sadism has three different versions of itself so I'll mostly be defining a version and then giving a brief summary of how the other versions are different from the one I defined, in general here are the types, humiliation, pain, and both. The categories are softcore sadism, moderate sadism, and Hardcore Sadism. In order to avoid confusion I'll be only giving a full definition for the both type of each category.
Softcore Sadism: Softcore is basically the fetish where someone enjoys making another submit but doesn't wish to cause the person to much pain or humiliation, however depending on the person's individual tastes they may still lean towards one extreme more than the other. The biggest defining characteristic of a softcore sadism fetish is a deep level of care and/or compassion for the sub involved in the relationship, because of this compassion the dom/domme may be hesitant to push the subs boundaries or try anything that could harm or change the sub in any way (by change I mean things like anal expansion training or prolonged nipple clamps etc.). The humiliation version of this category is even more limited in what the dom/domme may do because they will try not to physically harm the sub in any way, and for the pain version it would be the same thing just with pain instead of humiliation. Most people that are doms/dommes and are on this site mostly for specific fetish play and less for the whole BDSM/S&M experience fall into this category.
Moderate Sadism: Moderate Sadism is the most common level of sadism on kinktalk, meaning that most people fall into this category assuming they have any interest in domination and they are a sadist. This level has less compassion and caring but still enough to keep the sub safe. The biggest difference between moderate and softcore is that softcore often leads to issues involving advancing a sub's training beyond a certain point, where as a moderate sadist would have little problem advancing the training as long as they knew the sub wanted it and they stayed informed about how things were going. However like a softcore sadist, moderate sadists will also stop at permanent damage to the sub. When it goes to pain or humiliation versions this category may mean that the dom/domme will become rather to very extreme in one direction but usually on the other hand they are very caring when it comes to the other side of things. Finally often time people will become a moderate sadist after a while simply because in the beginning they may be very scared or uncertain of how to proceed but after gaining some confidence and experience as a dom/domme then many of them will become moderate sadists, which is why I do suggest that in general try pairing up either two experienced people or one inexperienced person and one experienced person when you are looking for a sub/dom.
Hardcore Sadism: this is the very small group of people that most people usually think of when you mention the word sadism now that doesn't necessarily mean that they are bad people that don't have any form of kindness or compassion towards their subs but it does mean that being in a relationship with them will have a tendency to be more rough. These people have a tendency to be more extreme when it comes to pain play and humiliation, however on the other hand many of them are very experienced and as such conduct themselves with a sort of professional attitude towards domming, so you don't have to worry about not being experienced assuming that the dom/domme will take the time to train you, then you are practically in the best hands possible. The sort of extreme activities that fall into this category are dehumanization, extreme humiliation, extreme control (like up to the level of controlling your daily life extreme), as well as the possibility of bruising, extreme pain, and forms of training that may make others want to run away (things like nipple or clit enlargement). Finally a hardcore sadist may want a sub to be marked or "branded" to them aside from using an actual brand which is very uncommon many may want you to get a tattoo some where or get piercings on certain parts of your body (for girls it's usually either nipples and/or clit, guys I believe it's penis) however this is ultimately up to you the worst that can happen is you have to look for a new dom/domme. When it comes to the humiliation or pain types of hardcore sadism it is very similar to the humiliation and pain sub-types of moderate sadism but with one main difference hardcore sadists will have a tendency to simply throw out the use of the opposite fetish so a pain one wouldn't even attempt humiliation and vice versa, where as in moderate sadism the dom/domme may still use them as punishments.
Now then as a final warning there is something I like to call pseudo hardcore sadists, most of which on this site are either teenagers (usually boys often hiding their age) that watch a lot of fetish porn and/or read a lot of hentai revolving around bdsm, mind break, or body modification and assume they can do the same things, or they are simply new members that wish to get into BDSM or S&M but don't actually do much research so they simply end up being examples for the stereotype. Now luckily unlike the actual hardcore sadists most of these pseudo sadists are very rude and not that professional, they also act like they are above you half the time, and nine times out of ten will attempt to get you to do something that is dangerous, now you're thinking how is that "lucky" because it makes them easy to pick out basically when applying to be a sub for someone hardcore just think of it this way pretend they are your perspective boss at an interview naturally you would want the one that is more professional (after all you would want to get payed for your work right). Unfortunately this also swings the other way to show there are pseudo masochists but that's for another time.
Psychology: I decided to do this because certain people would get angry if I didn't make a point of talking about the psychology of this fetish. stereo typically sadist are people with a very high and mighty or cruel and abusive personalities, but in general that isn't true, a sadist usually has a personality similar to anyone else's the main differences are that they are prone to confrontation a bit more and may have a tendency to pick on people. As far as the psychology of the fetish goes it is deeply rooted in the pleasure a sadist gets from making another person either submit to them or just from giving them a hard time, now that doesn't mean they are specifically bullies, they often times do this in a very friendly way (such as seeking out a competition, playing games, or just friendly picking on each other) or they may only do this sort of stuff in bed where it gets more naughty
Am I a sadist? Yes and no, if I had to say I'd be a sadomasochist because I'm a switch so I'm into both I'd say I'm somewhere between a moderate and hardcore sadist and as for masochism I'm pretty hardcore, once you flip that switch be prepared to totally dominate me haha.
Short Stories, unfortunately I won't be doing any short stories for this fetish as of yet because I won't post about other people without their consent and I don't to post from me being the sub because when I tried writing it several times it always ended up being more submissive focused as opposed to being focused on the actual fetish. However if I get consent in the future than I will post in another blog titled (sadism, short stories) the short stories.
Rating: 8 out of 10
Individual Ratings:
Personal Rating: 7.5 out of 10, more of a sub than a domme
BDSM Rating: 10 out of 10 as one of the essential fetishes in bdsm it obviously gets a good rating
Domination: 10 out of 10, basically the fetish is domination so...
Submission: 2 out of 10, it would be zero but since sadists work closely with subs I gave it a couple points.
Kinkiness: 9 out of 10, mmm it's just very kinky I guess
Weirdness: 3 out of 10, on this site sadism is probably more common than normal sex.
Future Funday: just letting everyone know that the winner of the last poll was pet play hehe can't wait!!
