Try this
Get yourself dressed in short skirt, top, no undies. Put a plug in your ass and love balls in your cunt (if you don't have those you are to edge before entering the store, read on!)
Go to a store of your choice and buy those three items: cucumber, condom and lube. Proceed to cashier, no self check out! I am sure the cashier will look weird and thats fine. Just before you leave the counter turn back and say: "Yes, this is exactly what it is for!"
Head back home, put the condom on the cucumber and put it up your ass as far as it goes using the lube. For each inch you get it in you are to edge twice, no cumming allowed. After you are done send pic of our swollen cunt und cucumber in your ass.