Identity Crisis

[Doctor Pervert]

Well there is awful lot of discussion about identity lately, how to prove it, how much to expose about yourself and its kind of created an identity crisis.

So really this is in two parts, proving who you are to ensure you can build trust and how much to expose of yourself on this type of site.

So second part first, I am more than happy to include face pics of myself but not to share other info like real name, address, work place etc. I figure the face pic is fairly safe, I mean its not like a passport ID photo just something that shows me so folks know what I look like. If someone does recognise me so what? They are also looking at (as a minimum) kink sites so what do they do, say "Hey I see you're a member of kinktalk." which tells me they are too and I have another friend in kink. Or they don't want to reveal themselves so say nothing, either way it's no big deal. So for me, in the long run face pics with no nudity are pretty safe really. Including your face in a nude pic is something else again, once you hit send or upload its out there and no amount of begging or pleading can assure you its been deleted. Hell I've seen whole blogs devoted to guys who buy up used thumb drives and recover the data just on the off chance they might find some private nudes. Not to mention the very helpful feature on most phones and tablets that sync your pics to your cloud accounts, digital pics are all but impossible to kill so be really careful how you handle them and who you trust them to.

Next, proving who you are, specifically are you a girl or guy as it says in your profile? Maybe its just my experience (age lol) but show me a decent photo of a hand holding a note (date, name maybe) and 95% of the time I can guess girl or guy. However my thought is if you are starting to doubt your online partners sex and feel the need for them to prove it, its already too late. You've lost trust, if they are genuine chances are they will be insulted by the request for proof and if they aren't they could still fake it if they are determined enough. Move on. I have found often that if you chat for a while and start to get on well most sub gals will offer to send you pics, partly I think this is the natural need subs have to please but also there is a degree of vanity too, they want to know you like them.

So what are your thoughts on either topic? I know there are very divided views, Doms who demand proof up front so they "don't waste their time", subs who declare "no photos ever" and these are the extremes at either end. Where do you sit?

 

[An inactive user]

My 2 cents

I'm not really having a problem with girls saying there girls and want to be controlled. If they don't want to sent it's up to them. Most of the time I just like giving the commands so if their fake and get pleasure out off scamming so be it. Most of the times I chatted to girls as a sub or Dom they showed pictures because they wanted too or because they wanted to give something in return for my pictures which of course don't mind. I always state that I do not need proof because I like giving the instructions and they like doing it. The pictures in my case are confirmation they want me too see.

 

[Magical Trapdoor]

For me, being trans and with all the hate that's garnering currently face pics are out of the question entirely.

Even if a dom didn't ask for pictures I'll generally offer them myself, your assumptions on that are pretty good, pleasing and being useful is just one aspect, I also want to be wanted >.< that happens to include physically.

If someone were to say, oh you're just a man using trans tag and faking, I'd be happy to include my estrogen pills in a photo.
I don't really understand the whole identify your gender thing, trust had to start somewhere, and if not at are you you, then when does it start?

Trust is everything in bdsm.

 

[slavegirl4u]

As face pics that is matter of opinion depending on what kind of lifestyle you life outside of the BDSM lifestyle. I know for several it is just not an accepted part of life and they choose to be discrete. I also had realized in my search for a Master/Mistress many of them wanted naked pics with a face and in the beginning I may have sent a couple and then it came back to bite me where one was threatening to black mail me and then I remembered I did not send them a pic so sending naked pics with a face can be very dangerous.

Now here I have become verified and I am 100% female and 100% real and I have had several ask if I was male or female I feel like saying duh my name says girl and I am listed as a female but I became verified so the questions would stop. But there has been some I have caught in deceitfulness who said they were a male but the truth came out that they are female.

So I would say depending upon your life you may or may not want others to see your face. I know for me being a mother I would not want my children to see this and verification well it is good to be verified but there are many here who are not who they say they are.