This week again had mainly been filed with phone calls with Mr P nothing really exciting has really happened apart from yesterday.
Me and Mr P did agree on a ?Keeper? or mentor for when he is away over the summer, the idea being I will have someone to talk to and implement some of Mr Ps rules while he is unable to have as much contact with me as usual. Towards the end of his course he wasn?t able to talk to me as much as either of us liked and I ended up feeling very down and having very little domination. I had my rituals etc but I didn?t have any random orders/tasks or anyone checking up on the day to day running of the Dom/sub stuff. When we did get to talk it was taking up with catching up on what ach other was doing and just general talk, the Dom/sub took a seat way in the back. Mr P doesn?t want me getting to the point of being down about it again so we have asked a Dom I know online, Orsino to be my mentor and make sure I still have some sort of control over me and structure while Mr P is away.
We agreed on Orsino as I have known him for quite some time now as well as Mr P knowing him and is one of the only people I trust enough to talk to if I get down or have problems. He also understands that Mr P just simply wont have the time to talk to me as much as he has been and that it has nothing to do with Mr P not putting the effort in. I have talked to Orsino about problems I?ve had in the past when I?ve needed reassurance and a friendly ear from someone other than my Dom. Sometimes I need to hear from someone else other that Mr P that I?m not going crazy or that my fears are me worrying over nothing, which I tend to do a lot. I trust Orsino and he was more than happy to take on a more ?official? role, he already is my mentor really but he?ll just have Mr Ps email if he gets worried over anything and it means Mr P knows I have someone definite to go to when I need it.
Yesterday me and Mr P headed off to London for the day again
We wanted to go and see Joseph, but it was totally sold out so went to see Cabaret instead. The least said about that the better but in a nut shell it was shit and we left after the first half. We decided to be more organised next time and book.
We met up and headed off to get the tickets then went to find a pub in our normal fashion. I had my purse and train ticket taken away right at the beginning so was helpless pretty much. I had to keep asking if I wanted to buy something or needed to pay which felt very strange. Used to just paying without thinking made me feel a bit like a 5 year old in a way having to ask for some money. I have to say though I did really like it, the kind of subtle domination that is slightly outside of my comfort zone and keeps reminding me of my submission. It did get kinda complicated when we went to pay for stuff and had to divide the bill though.
We met at the station and before I know it I?m pushed up against the wall and grinded against, clearly what happens when he sees me hasn?t changed since last week Love that I can make him hard just by being there not even touching him or saying anything hehe. Going to have to work hard at keeping the power of association alive and keep him on his toes. He also got his elastic bands out, something that actually gives me a bubble of nerves when I see them. They hurt so much when he pings them against me skin and always make me flinch, especially if I keep eye contact with him and don?t look at what he?s doing. He was pinging them so hard against my boobs that even though we were on the station I couldn?t help but flinch and squirm. I?m sure he just likes them so much because it makes me whimper and I get really red marks most of which are still the same colour as yesterday. Guess I shouldn?t complain I love the marks too and yeah the pain as well.
We ended up in somewhere called erm?can?t remember but it was Irish and massive. It was all decorated in gothic/folk and was really nice. I think we were the only two in there really and because it was so big we managed to find a corner tucked right away  We got food and drinks and the day of teasing started. Sometimes I wonder if its healthy to be worked up that much and then have no way to relieve the horniness. He seriously has perfected the teasing kiss to the point where I get frustrated at which point I usually just get a quick kiss, he?s such a meanie to me!
I think to be honest the power of association works on me as well because when Mr P got his hand down my jeans about half hour after we got into the pub I was so wet it was ridiculous. I think if some stupid guys coming to look round the pub to do a photo shoot or something hadn?t been hanging around the bit where we were and interrupting I would have quite easily have been persuaded to beg to cum. Its so hard to keep a straight face when you have someone?s hands down your pants and others are casually looking round as though nothing is going on, especially as the guys kept on saying sorry hope we aren?t interrupting and things. Have to see I ended up pretty red when they first walked over but the idea of public stuff is that you might get caught after all.
He got the elastic bands out again and I ended up with bright red welts on my arms, they seriously hurt so much when he uses them must have a secret technique or something hehe. They are still bright red today even if the marks aren?t swollen up now. I do enjoy pain a lot but the kind of pain from elastic bands kind of reminds me of a cane, intense sharp pain concentrated into one thin area and I struggle with the cane so I get the same nervous feeling when he gets the elastic bands out.
We also did some more of the breath play from last week and took it a bit further, him holding me still for longer so that I couldn?t pull away. At a couple of points I did get that fear feeling because I was struggling back but he was holding me into the kiss so that I just couldn?t pull away. He only help me there for a little longer than was comfortable but it feels very intimidating and I get a knot in my tummy for a couple of seconds. Have to say I?ve never really thought about breath play much but I drifted off to subspace a few times after and its something I?d like to explore a bit more now, not to the point of passing out but maybe pushing the fear feeling a bit further.
Also managed to finger him for a little bit and do a small bit of CBT, really wanted to do some more but its very hard to do it discreetly and get the angle right etc. Said I?d try and do some more next time as I know its something he really enjoys and neither of us have done overly much of it before so would like to explore it a bit more and see what else I can do with it.
Me and Mr P did agree on a ?Keeper? or mentor for when he is away over the summer, the idea being I will have someone to talk to and implement some of Mr Ps rules while he is unable to have as much contact with me as usual. Towards the end of his course he wasn?t able to talk to me as much as either of us liked and I ended up feeling very down and having very little domination. I had my rituals etc but I didn?t have any random orders/tasks or anyone checking up on the day to day running of the Dom/sub stuff. When we did get to talk it was taking up with catching up on what ach other was doing and just general talk, the Dom/sub took a seat way in the back. Mr P doesn?t want me getting to the point of being down about it again so we have asked a Dom I know online, Orsino to be my mentor and make sure I still have some sort of control over me and structure while Mr P is away.
We agreed on Orsino as I have known him for quite some time now as well as Mr P knowing him and is one of the only people I trust enough to talk to if I get down or have problems. He also understands that Mr P just simply wont have the time to talk to me as much as he has been and that it has nothing to do with Mr P not putting the effort in. I have talked to Orsino about problems I?ve had in the past when I?ve needed reassurance and a friendly ear from someone other than my Dom. Sometimes I need to hear from someone else other that Mr P that I?m not going crazy or that my fears are me worrying over nothing, which I tend to do a lot. I trust Orsino and he was more than happy to take on a more ?official? role, he already is my mentor really but he?ll just have Mr Ps email if he gets worried over anything and it means Mr P knows I have someone definite to go to when I need it.
Yesterday me and Mr P headed off to London for the day again
We wanted to go and see Joseph, but it was totally sold out so went to see Cabaret instead. The least said about that the better but in a nut shell it was shit and we left after the first half. We decided to be more organised next time and book. We met up and headed off to get the tickets then went to find a pub in our normal fashion. I had my purse and train ticket taken away right at the beginning so was helpless pretty much. I had to keep asking if I wanted to buy something or needed to pay which felt very strange. Used to just paying without thinking made me feel a bit like a 5 year old in a way having to ask for some money. I have to say though I did really like it, the kind of subtle domination that is slightly outside of my comfort zone and keeps reminding me of my submission. It did get kinda complicated when we went to pay for stuff and had to divide the bill though.
We met at the station and before I know it I?m pushed up against the wall and grinded against, clearly what happens when he sees me hasn?t changed since last week
Love that I can make him hard just by being there not even touching him or saying anything hehe. Going to have to work hard at keeping the power of association alive and keep him on his toes. He also got his elastic bands out, something that actually gives me a bubble of nerves when I see them. They hurt so much when he pings them against me skin and always make me flinch, especially if I keep eye contact with him and don?t look at what he?s doing. He was pinging them so hard against my boobs that even though we were on the station I couldn?t help but flinch and squirm. I?m sure he just likes them so much because it makes me whimper and I get really red marks most of which are still the same colour as yesterday. Guess I shouldn?t complain I love the marks too and yeah the pain as well. We ended up in somewhere called erm?can?t remember but it was Irish and massive. It was all decorated in gothic/folk and was really nice. I think we were the only two in there really and because it was so big we managed to find a corner tucked right away  We got food and drinks and the day of teasing started. Sometimes I wonder if its healthy to be worked up that much and then have no way to relieve the horniness. He seriously has perfected the teasing kiss to the point where I get frustrated at which point I usually just get a quick kiss, he?s such a meanie to me!
I think to be honest the power of association works on me as well because when Mr P got his hand down my jeans about half hour after we got into the pub I was so wet it was ridiculous. I think if some stupid guys coming to look round the pub to do a photo shoot or something hadn?t been hanging around the bit where we were and interrupting I would have quite easily have been persuaded to beg to cum. Its so hard to keep a straight face when you have someone?s hands down your pants and others are casually looking round as though nothing is going on, especially as the guys kept on saying sorry hope we aren?t interrupting and things. Have to see I ended up pretty red when they first walked over but the idea of public stuff is that you might get caught after all.
He got the elastic bands out again and I ended up with bright red welts on my arms, they seriously hurt so much when he uses them must have a secret technique or something hehe. They are still bright red today even if the marks aren?t swollen up now. I do enjoy pain a lot but the kind of pain from elastic bands kind of reminds me of a cane, intense sharp pain concentrated into one thin area and I struggle with the cane so I get the same nervous feeling when he gets the elastic bands out.
We also did some more of the breath play from last week and took it a bit further, him holding me still for longer so that I couldn?t pull away. At a couple of points I did get that fear feeling because I was struggling back but he was holding me into the kiss so that I just couldn?t pull away. He only help me there for a little longer than was comfortable but it feels very intimidating and I get a knot in my tummy for a couple of seconds. Have to say I?ve never really thought about breath play much but I drifted off to subspace a few times after and its something I?d like to explore a bit more now, not to the point of passing out but maybe pushing the fear feeling a bit further.
Also managed to finger him for a little bit and do a small bit of CBT, really wanted to do some more but its very hard to do it discreetly and get the angle right etc. Said I?d try and do some more next time as I know its something he really enjoys and neither of us have done overly much of it before so would like to explore it a bit more and see what else I can do with it.
