Quick background: I am a college student in my first serious relationship (almost 7 months) and I have just found out that my girlfriend is way kinkier than I expected. We both took the bdsmtest.org quiz, and the results are below.
Her results: http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=1986095
My results: https://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=1986156
This kind of explains a lot. During sex sometimes I thought she was unenthusiastic or not totally enjoying it, but I'm realizing that she's just being submissive. After all, she instigated sex originally and tells me she is really into it. We lost our virginity to each other so we aren't very experienced though. That being said, I am getting more confident, as I can keep going for a good twenty to forty minutes and she has encouraged me to really pound her.
This revelation that she wants to be a sub has kind of thrown me for a loop. I always expected she was the type, but I didn't realize she was this kinky. The problem is that I don't know how to start. I've always been into pretty heavy dom porn and fantasies (although not ropes and toys) but being raised in a feminist but traditional household, I've always assumed that most girls don't like that stuff. Now that I know my girlfriend consensually wants to go further, I'm starting to get interested in going further with my fantasies. The problem is that I don't know where to start. She's asked me to pull her hair and hold her wrists, but what's the next step? At what point do we need a safe word?
A couple dirty details: She isn't a big fan of foreplay or receiving oral. Even though it seems that she is, I'm not really into the idea of toys or tying people up, I'd rather use my hands. She has hinted that she wants to try anal, but honestly I'm a little scared of that going badly. Again, even though it sounds like she is into it, I hate the idea of degrading her verbally, probably because she has low self esteem and I could never say something negative about her. I'm definitely a switch, but anytime I try to encourage my girlfriend to take charge I've learned that she really doesn't want to. So that's fine, but the reason I wanted her to take charge it was because I felt like I didn't know how to take charge.
Thanks in advance!
Her results: http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=1986095
My results: https://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=1986156
This kind of explains a lot. During sex sometimes I thought she was unenthusiastic or not totally enjoying it, but I'm realizing that she's just being submissive. After all, she instigated sex originally and tells me she is really into it. We lost our virginity to each other so we aren't very experienced though. That being said, I am getting more confident, as I can keep going for a good twenty to forty minutes and she has encouraged me to really pound her.
This revelation that she wants to be a sub has kind of thrown me for a loop. I always expected she was the type, but I didn't realize she was this kinky. The problem is that I don't know how to start. I've always been into pretty heavy dom porn and fantasies (although not ropes and toys) but being raised in a feminist but traditional household, I've always assumed that most girls don't like that stuff. Now that I know my girlfriend consensually wants to go further, I'm starting to get interested in going further with my fantasies. The problem is that I don't know where to start. She's asked me to pull her hair and hold her wrists, but what's the next step? At what point do we need a safe word?
A couple dirty details: She isn't a big fan of foreplay or receiving oral. Even though it seems that she is, I'm not really into the idea of toys or tying people up, I'd rather use my hands. She has hinted that she wants to try anal, but honestly I'm a little scared of that going badly. Again, even though it sounds like she is into it, I hate the idea of degrading her verbally, probably because she has low self esteem and I could never say something negative about her. I'm definitely a switch, but anytime I try to encourage my girlfriend to take charge I've learned that she really doesn't want to. So that's fine, but the reason I wanted her to take charge it was because I felt like I didn't know how to take charge.
Thanks in advance!