People fascinate me. I have an insatiable curiosity when it comes to others, but I don't always have the best methods of expressing this. Perhaps this is the reason that I find it so much simpler to connect to strangers online than with individuals in person; with the anonymity that the Internet provides, I can ask and observe without recrimination. In doing so, I often learn more about myself.
So today I am reflecting on the fickle nature of growth. It is not smooth and is often painful, but necessary. I can attest to this as well as anyone; how many people can say that as a child they were more comfortable in hospitals than playgrounds? So while I possess a certain naivete, it is balanced with the understanding that the world is a terrifying, miserable place, that strength comes from turmoil.
I can say that I am not the same person I was last week, or three weeks ago, or two months ago. I am not the same person I was yesterday. Today I spent the evening walking around without panties, holding telephone calls with a mentor who feels like an old friend despite knowing him for such a short period of time. (Neither of us are looking for a committed D/s or anything similar, but it is nice to chat.) Would I have done these things five days ago? No. Would I be sharing photographs of myself with people I don't know? Absolutely not. But today I am and did. Today I am a different person. Today I am one step closer to becoming the best me that I can be, the best submissive I can be, the best partner I can be.
And tomorrow will be another step. Instead of spending the evening without panties, I will be spending the day. To make me feel sexy, according to sir Bossy-Pants (and yes, that is what I call him). I will pedicure my feet, repaint my nails, style my hair. I will eat well, exercise as directed, keep a journal for accountability.
And I will flourish.
So today I am reflecting on the fickle nature of growth. It is not smooth and is often painful, but necessary. I can attest to this as well as anyone; how many people can say that as a child they were more comfortable in hospitals than playgrounds? So while I possess a certain naivete, it is balanced with the understanding that the world is a terrifying, miserable place, that strength comes from turmoil.
I can say that I am not the same person I was last week, or three weeks ago, or two months ago. I am not the same person I was yesterday. Today I spent the evening walking around without panties, holding telephone calls with a mentor who feels like an old friend despite knowing him for such a short period of time. (Neither of us are looking for a committed D/s or anything similar, but it is nice to chat.) Would I have done these things five days ago? No. Would I be sharing photographs of myself with people I don't know? Absolutely not. But today I am and did. Today I am a different person. Today I am one step closer to becoming the best me that I can be, the best submissive I can be, the best partner I can be.
And tomorrow will be another step. Instead of spending the evening without panties, I will be spending the day. To make me feel sexy, according to sir Bossy-Pants (and yes, that is what I call him). I will pedicure my feet, repaint my nails, style my hair. I will eat well, exercise as directed, keep a journal for accountability.
And I will flourish.
