What do you wish people understood about kinksters?

[EliaBlack]

I'm in the process of writing an erotic romance series and I want to highlight some of the struggles that kinky couples face. I also want to give readers a better understanding of what it means to be dominant, submissive, switch, etc. So, kinktalk users, what do you wish people understood about the BDSM community?

 

[WalkingWholockian]

Tbh I wish people would understand the lines between consenting BDSM and abuse/shit that's not okay (*glares pointedly at 50 Shades*)

also that being a submissive doesn't mean you're just a ragdoll/playtoy, I think the trap a lot of people fall into when writing about BDSM is making their submissive character too passive (does that make sense? I'm bad with words ) like I'm pretty passive and shy, especially during play but there are certain things I simply won't tolerate from any Dom

 

[CuriouslyInterested]

I once mentioned i could see the appeal of a dominant partner to someone who didn't know i had any interest in the lifestyle during a conversation about someone they knew did. The person looked utterly horrified "You want someone to beat you or something?!?!" And i actually have little personal interest in impact play. BDSM s a broad term and everyone's kinks are different. It's not all the leather and whips that people associate with it.