As a submissive person that has only entered the online realm very recently I did come across various issues that seems to have existed since online bdsm communities and even more and I wanted to point out common things that happen and what could be improved:
Quick advice for Doms:
1. Remember a submissive person is still a PERSON that will serve you out of their own CHOICE
2. In order to have a sub to choose to serve you and not someone else you have to BE WORTH THEIR SERVICE
3. Not everyone is a BIMBO / MINDLESS / DUMB, people like to chat even as just friends, whether it's about kinks, what they do in their lives or what's the latest video game they played, not every conversation has to be kinks related.
4. People won't just submit to you and instantly trust you
5. Replying to a sub's thread avoid: being rude, one liner or "hello", calling someone degrading names (even if that's part of their kink that doesn't necessarily means you have the right to do so or such message from a stranger will make them feel good)
6. If the sub has pictures as a limit, then it is a limit!
Detailed advice for both Doms and subs:
When posting that you are looking for a sub, please form a paragraph structured ad stating what you're into, what you're looking for, a little bit about yourself both as a Dom/sub and as a regular person/friend or just some out of BDSM interests that could be used as an ice breaker. A well written thread will give quite a few details to what it is that you're looking for so that people who are into similar things will find you and consider you, while small messages will leave a lot of gaps, get misunderstood, vague and also they may indicate someone who doesn't know what they're looking for, don't know what they're doing, not truly interested in much,
- just a fake creepy "Dom" looking for just a quick jerk off / pics and who knows what else.
- subs who try to pretend to be Doms for whatever kink they have related to that, subs that only wanted a quick jerk off session and be done
If the 2 small message categories just want something quick then good luck finding each other.
I will give two example of posts and let you choose which one do you think it's the best approach to finding what you're looking for
Doms
Example 1:
About myself:
I'm from Canada, I have 2 and a half years experience in BDSM. I am 6 feet tall, black hair, hazel eyes and a charming personality. I enjoy good old fashion banter, going to the gym, noels, anime and overall exploring new things. As you might have guessed I am a student and I am studying at the moment.
About me as a Dom:
I am a Dom or master or daddy etc. I am a very caring and patient as well, however I can be strict at times. When we start you will find that I put the safety of my subs first, and then my enjoyment second/ This may sound strange but to me, it is very important in a D/s relationship. When it comes to BDSM, we all have limits, so I will respect all of yours as well.
However!!!!
If you like what you are reading this far and wish to be my sub I do require a photo as proof (the photo does not require nudity unless you want to, and you are not required to show your face, it just for proof.) and to be fair il do the same.
What type of sub I would like:
I am seeking a sub willing to have a strong D/S relationship. That's not the only thing I would like in a sub, I would like have normal chats, and not keep it the same thing, you do what I say and it's done, I would like to to get to know you as well.
I understand if some days one of us will be busier than the other other and can’t talk, and that's fine. Everyone has their reasons for being busy. However, if you're un able to give some time out of your day for this relationship I do not thing it will work out. Because if you're not fully committed to this type of life style, then I don't think the relationship would work out well for the both of us.
Location: I do hope that you live in a similar timezone, so that things can be easier. If this is a problem no worries!!, I am open to any sub from anywhere.
Lastly. My preferred gender is female. I don't have a problem with having a male sub, but it's rare chance that I would pick one. You can try out your luck and see what happens.
Your Hard Limits:
What you are (slave, pet, etc.):
Time-zone/Location:
Any health problems:
Your Looks:
Your Body-type:
Are you ok sending photos or videos:
Any equipment or items that you might have:
Why are you interested in being my sub?
Why you are the perfect sub for me?
When can you start:
Your experience as a sub:
Forms of communication:
Example 2:
Looking for slaves who are obedient and ones that i can break. I will make you mindless toy.
Likes: humiliation, pain, petplay, chores, tasks, orgasm control, etc.
Kik: WhateverKikHere
Snapchat: WhateverSnapchatHere
In the first example the person has omitted to state their kinks but the well structured post made it not that important since I still feel like I could contact him any time and find out more anyway already having a few things I could open up a casual conversation. While the second one feels like I wasted my time even checking their ad at all. The list that the first example's poster added should most likely be a regular template that people use for description, understanding and kinks.
Subs:
Example 1:
https://www.kinktalk.com/talk/threa...s-master-for-long-time-relation-online.39851/
Example 2:
I want someone to give me ass spankings. I have a wire which I use to spank my ass. It has a rubber and a hard end. Rubber end stings really bad but the hard end is even worse and leaves bruises. I want someone without any mercy, who can push my limits and really destroy my ass and then destroy it some more. You can give me as many spanks as you want and I'll provide pics after each session and I can't say no to any spankings.
You can give me hourly spanking tasks, have a long spanking session etc. You can give me daily spankings tasks. Keep my ass in pain 24x7.
If anyone is interested, kik me: WhateverKikHere
Replying to a thread:
A lot of people have messaged to mean in response to my thread and I had quite a few complimenting my decently done ad, yet too many texted me just a simple "Hello!", "HI, I got your kik from this website", "Slave", "Are you still looking?"
While the last question is understandable after a few days that doesn't mean it has to be the only thing I see from your first message. If a good post made you text me then you need a good message for me to reply.
As a template, if not indicated by the poster in the thread, I suggest you reply with a greeting, state the age, location and gender, at least 3 of your major kinks, at least 1 thing you're interested outside of BDSM and possibly what made you message me, this way there will be a variety of things to talk about from the start.
A SHORTER GUIDE CAN BE FOUND HERE:
https://www.kinktalk.com/talk/threads/how-to-post-a-personal-listing.15/
PS: I do not own any of those posts and I tried keeping everyone anonymous for various reasons.
Got any more advice for either side or issues you'd like to point out I probably missed please leave it in the comments! Happy New Year everyone!!!!
Quick advice for Doms:
1. Remember a submissive person is still a PERSON that will serve you out of their own CHOICE
2. In order to have a sub to choose to serve you and not someone else you have to BE WORTH THEIR SERVICE
3. Not everyone is a BIMBO / MINDLESS / DUMB, people like to chat even as just friends, whether it's about kinks, what they do in their lives or what's the latest video game they played, not every conversation has to be kinks related.
4. People won't just submit to you and instantly trust you
5. Replying to a sub's thread avoid: being rude, one liner or "hello", calling someone degrading names (even if that's part of their kink that doesn't necessarily means you have the right to do so or such message from a stranger will make them feel good)
6. If the sub has pictures as a limit, then it is a limit!
Detailed advice for both Doms and subs:
When posting that you are looking for a sub, please form a paragraph structured ad stating what you're into, what you're looking for, a little bit about yourself both as a Dom/sub and as a regular person/friend or just some out of BDSM interests that could be used as an ice breaker. A well written thread will give quite a few details to what it is that you're looking for so that people who are into similar things will find you and consider you, while small messages will leave a lot of gaps, get misunderstood, vague and also they may indicate someone who doesn't know what they're looking for, don't know what they're doing, not truly interested in much,
- just a fake creepy "Dom" looking for just a quick jerk off / pics and who knows what else.
- subs who try to pretend to be Doms for whatever kink they have related to that, subs that only wanted a quick jerk off session and be done
If the 2 small message categories just want something quick then good luck finding each other.
I will give two example of posts and let you choose which one do you think it's the best approach to finding what you're looking for
Doms
Example 1:
About myself:
I'm from Canada, I have 2 and a half years experience in BDSM. I am 6 feet tall, black hair, hazel eyes and a charming personality. I enjoy good old fashion banter, going to the gym, noels, anime and overall exploring new things. As you might have guessed I am a student and I am studying at the moment.
About me as a Dom:
I am a Dom or master or daddy etc. I am a very caring and patient as well, however I can be strict at times. When we start you will find that I put the safety of my subs first, and then my enjoyment second/ This may sound strange but to me, it is very important in a D/s relationship. When it comes to BDSM, we all have limits, so I will respect all of yours as well.
However!!!!
If you like what you are reading this far and wish to be my sub I do require a photo as proof (the photo does not require nudity unless you want to, and you are not required to show your face, it just for proof.) and to be fair il do the same.
What type of sub I would like:
I am seeking a sub willing to have a strong D/S relationship. That's not the only thing I would like in a sub, I would like have normal chats, and not keep it the same thing, you do what I say and it's done, I would like to to get to know you as well.
I understand if some days one of us will be busier than the other other and can’t talk, and that's fine. Everyone has their reasons for being busy. However, if you're un able to give some time out of your day for this relationship I do not thing it will work out. Because if you're not fully committed to this type of life style, then I don't think the relationship would work out well for the both of us.
Location: I do hope that you live in a similar timezone, so that things can be easier. If this is a problem no worries!!, I am open to any sub from anywhere.
Lastly. My preferred gender is female. I don't have a problem with having a male sub, but it's rare chance that I would pick one. You can try out your luck and see what happens.
Your Hard Limits:
What you are (slave, pet, etc.):
Time-zone/Location:
Any health problems:
Your Looks:
Your Body-type:
Are you ok sending photos or videos:
Any equipment or items that you might have:
Why are you interested in being my sub?
Why you are the perfect sub for me?
When can you start:
Your experience as a sub:
Forms of communication:
Example 2:
Looking for slaves who are obedient and ones that i can break. I will make you mindless toy.
Likes: humiliation, pain, petplay, chores, tasks, orgasm control, etc.
Kik: WhateverKikHere
Snapchat: WhateverSnapchatHere
In the first example the person has omitted to state their kinks but the well structured post made it not that important since I still feel like I could contact him any time and find out more anyway already having a few things I could open up a casual conversation. While the second one feels like I wasted my time even checking their ad at all. The list that the first example's poster added should most likely be a regular template that people use for description, understanding and kinks.
Subs:
Example 1:
https://www.kinktalk.com/talk/threa...s-master-for-long-time-relation-online.39851/
Example 2:
I want someone to give me ass spankings. I have a wire which I use to spank my ass. It has a rubber and a hard end. Rubber end stings really bad but the hard end is even worse and leaves bruises. I want someone without any mercy, who can push my limits and really destroy my ass and then destroy it some more. You can give me as many spanks as you want and I'll provide pics after each session and I can't say no to any spankings.
You can give me hourly spanking tasks, have a long spanking session etc. You can give me daily spankings tasks. Keep my ass in pain 24x7.
If anyone is interested, kik me: WhateverKikHere
Replying to a thread:
A lot of people have messaged to mean in response to my thread and I had quite a few complimenting my decently done ad, yet too many texted me just a simple "Hello!", "HI, I got your kik from this website", "Slave", "Are you still looking?"
While the last question is understandable after a few days that doesn't mean it has to be the only thing I see from your first message. If a good post made you text me then you need a good message for me to reply.
As a template, if not indicated by the poster in the thread, I suggest you reply with a greeting, state the age, location and gender, at least 3 of your major kinks, at least 1 thing you're interested outside of BDSM and possibly what made you message me, this way there will be a variety of things to talk about from the start.
A SHORTER GUIDE CAN BE FOUND HERE:
https://www.kinktalk.com/talk/threads/how-to-post-a-personal-listing.15/
PS: I do not own any of those posts and I tried keeping everyone anonymous for various reasons.
Got any more advice for either side or issues you'd like to point out I probably missed please leave it in the comments! Happy New Year everyone!!!!
Last edited:
