BDSM, submission and PTSD (or any other mental illness)

Selene

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Submissive
Aug 18, 2017
9
0
0
#1
Hello :)

I am new to submission and there are a few things that worry me. One of them is that I suffer from PTSD and playing sessions give me intense flashbacks and panic attacks that are hard to control. It is getting in the way and even though I have safe words, I find myself using them too late or not at all.

So, I just wanted to ask the dominants if you ever had a sub with the same problem, or if one of your subs had a mental illness of any short and how you delt with that. On the other hand if you are a submissive who's dealing with PTSD or other psychological problems, I'd like to ask you for some advice and coping techniques during and after play.
 

Selene

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Submissive
Aug 18, 2017
9
0
0
#2
Also another thing I would like to ask is whether you would consider your potential sub's mental state a reason to not proceed to a D/s relationship with them. It's hard and I feel like most dominants would prefer someone who is "normal". What are your views on this?
 

droptokon

GCMG
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Staff member
May 19, 2013
950
15
18
Perth WA
#3
I think you pretty much know the answer here, PTSD is a serious condition and avoiding triggering events is key while you continue therapy.
Many if not most BDSM activities have the potential to put psychological stress on you and as such it would not be advisable to continue until your condition improves significantly.
 

dariodragon7

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jul 13, 2015
35
0
0
33
#4
Yes one of my subs had PTSD and we lasted almost three years with that. What is important is that the Dom has to have the ability to understand to be supportive and to get your signals on where and when to stop and if i was able to do that online with only six years in the lifestyle an experienced Dom should be able to understand that in person too. A disease is not a valid reason to stop sessions. Try making them shorter and less intense in the beginning. Try keeping some clothes still on it might help you feeling more protected. Even just bra and panties are ok after all you can easily show your boobs and pussy to your Dom even that way. Avoid penetration for a while and focus on other playful things. Even a PTSD woman can enjoy a good bdsm with the right protection. My sub couldn't even get naked and in the end we even had intense complete sessions. Best luck to you and if you need more advices just say it
 

Selene

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Submissive
Aug 18, 2017
9
0
0
#5
Thank you very much for the replies! I didn't think anyone would reply because it's rather a serious question... Nevertheless, if anyone else has something to add, I'd love to read about your experience
 

Honeycombs

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Submissive
Jul 18, 2017
7
0
0
#6
I'm a sub with ptsd!
The biggest thing, as always, is communication. That, and a lot of trial and error to find out what sets me off and what doesnt (even that can vary from day to day, depending on my mood).

Bdsm/kink has really helped me cope a lot, actually. I get to experience extreme/stressful/painful situations in a controlled and safe environment. It definitely makes me feel more powerful and less afraid.
 

Scrap

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
Mar 12, 2017
32
0
6
#7
PTSD is definitely not a "scene killer" for the right Top. The Master of a friend of mine actually used to take in "broken slaves" and help them recover and lead (relatively) "normal" lives after some really horrific shit. As mentioned previously (and harped on, trumpeted, and otherwise put on big flashing billboards throughout the forums), communication is absolutely a must.

Submission to the right Top can actually be a tool to help overcome PTSD, when done properly. BDSM teaches a subbie that is it okay to Trust, that they are safe in the hands of their Dominant. As tough as it can be for both the Dominant and the submissive to learn to identify and work though the queues and triggers, the reward is well worth the work.

I wish you the best in your search.
 

Selene

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Submissive
Aug 18, 2017
9
0
0
#8
Thank you all for the replies! They've sure made me feel better, I was worried bdsm would make it worse but it now kinda seems part of the healing process.
 

Thebrat

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Slave
Apr 21, 2016
41
0
0
#9
PTSD and BDSM

Hello there,

PTSD is a very hard thing to live with and to recognize the triggers and to respond to them right. With me its choking and having stuff too tight on my neck. So tend to just avoid that area all together, easing in when comfortable and find the right dominant to help with that. I see my counsellor as well but I don't tell him "Oh yeah, how do I cope with having a collar on?" Lol It just takes time and I never separated myself from bdsm as I felt Id be denying part of myself and life is already unstable after that kind of stuff. :)

You'll find out what works for you, you aren't alone and feel free to message me anytime.
 

SirJWins

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Dominant
Dec 12, 2017
6
0
0
Canada
#10
I've not had a sub with PTSD specifically but have had one with some pretty significant mental hurdles. This is obvious but communication is absolutely critical.

The fact that you mention using safe words too late is a huge red flag. I'm certainly not here to tell you what to do but, from a dominant perspective, I would absolutely want to know where potential triggers areas are. If you're using the fairly standard green/yellow/red safe word areas, anything in your trigger area(s) should automatically flag yellow. This does not necessarily mean stop but that your partner should check with you to make sure you're okay. This helps both you and your partner gauge where you are before proceeding.

Again, I am only speaking from my experience. I've been lucky to have good communications with subs I've played with so have been able to work with mental challenges. They are definitely not a show-stopper but the onus is on both the dom AND sub to communicate, communicate, communicate.