Findom whats the purpose?

DiscoveryofSelf

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Hey I know I don't post much on here but I've been racking my brain over findom. Are some guys just that desperate? Do some really get off on giving their money away?
Are there "Domme's" (using that term loosely) that are actually turned on by the control or do they just not want to work an actual job?

I know this an odd post/question but I've been curious as to what drives people. If this isn't allowed in this section I do apologize.
 

Rlee

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As a male dom who thoroughly enjoys control, although I've never done findom, I can say that being turned on by having control is really a thing!
I'm not saying all dommes are like that, there must be a lot who do it just for the money, but I imagine at least some are.
As for subs enjoying it, I know some get turned on by handing over control in general, but I don't know enough to say anything else.
 

DiscoveryofSelf

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As a male dom who thoroughly enjoys control, although I've never done findom, I can say that being turned on by having control is really a thing!
I'm not saying all dommes are like that, there must be a lot who do it just for the money, but I imagine at least some are.
As for subs enjoying it, I know some get turned on by handing over control in general, but I don't know enough to say anything else.
I'm a switch and I get turned on by control in a more general sense. I was more referring to the financial aspect of it.

The thought of using someone as a pay pig is hard for me to wrap my head around. I'm sure their are people who've gone into debt over this which again is just mind blowing
 

Doctor Pervert

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I really feel this is one of the situations where sub guys are so desperate for a Domme they will agree to anything. On the flip side this then becomes an easy earn for the findom and I can see how they would take advantage of the shortage of real, legit Dommes by exploiting guys like this.
As mentioned this can lead to some really nasty situations which is one of the main reasons we have a zero tolerance for findom here, there are many more ways to express control without sending guys broke!
 

marissa353

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It seems to me to be vulnerability and a lack of control taken to an extreme, so it seems natural that there would be subbies that are genuinely into it. I don't see why it needs to be characterized as desperation any more than being into any other extreme flavor of kink.
 

Doctor Pervert

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Sure I think for instance it can work inside a committed relationship for instance where a Domme controls her sub hub/partner finances but basically there isnt a serious chance of actual financial ruin or simply being ripped off. Ultimately in this scenario the money stays "in the house".
The big problem with findom that we encounter here are scammers who promise a lot, often requiring substantial payments then simply ghosting on their victims. The reason I suggest it being often from desperation is when guys have been trying for ages to find a domme they get sucked in by one of the more clever scammers who only require a "small" donation to start out then quickly ramp it up with larger and larger demands with threats of dropping them if they don't pay up.
The other telling factor is I don't ever recall seeing an instance of a male dom attempting anything similar with female subs?
 

andrei

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In early days I loved to hack into people emails. Don't worry I was getting them from a poorly made website (warpmymind cough!) and I don't do it ever again. And they fixed their security anyway.

A girl annoyed me asking for money so I decided to know her better.

What did I found in her yahoo crap.

She was from Phillipines. She asked everyone for money and meetings. A poor european guy even offered to buy her a ticket to EU to offer her a better life and was continuously asking when she gets there. She was just "sorry I missed my plane" etc. He was "but I fucking payed for your plane and waited you!!!"

Lesson: never fall for findoms. If she made money just once she knows how to do it again without caring about you. Better make and buy gifts to a secret lover rather than pay an online bitch.
 
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AmvetSB

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This topic frequently prompts bitter amusement with me. I once was approached directly in a somewhat demanding manner to provide a 'tribute' with very little evidence that I would get anything out of doing so.. I drafted a 'demand in reply' insisting on proof of age, business credentials, license or waiver to accept payment as a prostitute and tax information, current medical clearance to perform as a 'sex worker' among many other well worded and detailed requirements I would insist on before we could proceed... Never heard back from "her"... I'm sure I would have come up with something creative and crafty if she had responded, that she should pay me to be her puppet rather than me pay her to treat me one way or another... Perhaps I've missed out on something in life, but I've never had to pay for 'pleasure', kink, or anything like it. Nor has it ever crossed my mind to even consider wanting someone to pay me for the same...
To each their own... Off topic perhaps, I do believe it can be appropriate to 'give' something in return, BUT in my experience, when both are getting what they want out of a 'relationship' where each is putting something in and getting something in return, a simple thank you is a sufficient show of gratitude...
I do believe that there are some in the world that are so desperate to find a source of income for whatever they have going on in their life that they must 'attempt' to do irrational things. BUT there are resources available to curb the need to sell one's body, their offspring, etc., to survive. IMO, 'this' is far different than 'working a scam' to get free money out of suckers... Those that sink this low have a special place in Hell, or perhaps a mental institution?
So, I don't see the glee for the one paying a findom for any reason.... So, why do it? I'd spend my money on something like food or if I had so much I'd be willing to throw it away, burn it? IDK, just my ranting, but felt this rare occasion to voice my opinion on something I find absurd...
 
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piesocial

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Outside of kinktalk it seems like there's nothing but desperate dommes spamming financial domination ads constantly everywhere. There is no way they get as much money individually as they say.

There's so many there needs to be a word for "not a findom" that I can search by, there's many words that describe them. It's like how the Eskimo have tons of words for snow. Well what's the word for not-snow?

Thanks!
 

Doctor Pervert

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After these quite firm kicks up the ass to findom you guys will be gobsmacked to hear about this one!

 
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maconmidcm

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I'VE seen a few women on fetlife post about sending them all their money. Usually, they're ugly skanks. I replied to one post and told her that the way she had it written was borderline extortion. She comes back with "I don't know... I just want to help my kids." I looked at her profile and she had a few videos on clips4sale. Basically, here was this supposedly superior sista demanding tribute of unworthy men and had all these stupid videos of herself and her fat ass on the net. More embarrassing videos of a shop worn pussy and an ass that should have a tattoo of "wide load." When I commented that next time she makes a video she should clean up her nasty ass living room first, she blocked me. Boo hoo.
 
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piesocial

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Interestingly, do they pay taxes?

No they do not. If they're half smart they make sure everything is labelled a gift and don't accept actual cash, but someone investigating totals on these types of people would probably be good.
 

Doctor Pervert

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From what I read of the resources of the IRS I doubt this would be worth their time, also due to the ever present issue of jurisdiction its often hard to work out who should go after these perps. Hosting site can be in any country, users can be from any country as can the "victims" paying up. Where do you start?
 

piesocial

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From what I read of the resources of the IRS I doubt this would be worth their time, also due to the ever present issue of jurisdiction its often hard to work out who should go after these perps. Hosting site can be in any country, users can be from any country as can the "victims" paying up. Where do you start?

Tax law often has overlapping jurisdictions. Where it always starts is wherever you are resident. Some people get away with stuff like this for a little while by simply being a nomad that keeps on moving between visitor visas.

But that's not going on. They probably just don't go after them because there's too little money trading hands.
 

Magnetic

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While I understand, and certainly agree, to all bad the things you guys said about findom, I personally like the real thing.

To me, real findom is not about getting money from your slavegirl at all. Real findom is when you order her to quit her job and do nothing except following your orders 24/7. Without getting paid.You will then control exactly how she spends every single penny that you give her.

Or, if she gets paid for some work, real fimdom does not involves you commanding her to send you her money, but you will still control how she spends her money (without ordering her to send it to you).

That is my definition of real findom. It is something I really love!
 

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