How Can I Be A Better Submissive?


Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Submissive
Nov 29, 2022
Hi everyone, I am new to this site but not new to the lifestyle. Four years ago I was in a M/s relationship with an experienced Master in the lifestyle, he received his training from other more experienced Masters and Mistresses, by attending classes and hands on training. I met him online on a different lifestyle website other than this one.

I am naturally submissive or I thought I was anyhow. In the beginning things went well, I was obeying him and our dynamic seemed to be progressing.

After a month or so, things started to change, I started to do things without asking his permission, we lived apart, I soon started to question some of his commands, some of which I thought were ridiculous. My trust in his judgement and decisions, started to dwindle and I ended up lieing to him on several occasions when it came carrying out a command he gave me. I finally had to call !n end to our relationship and to be uncollard, in which he did so.

It has been five years since I was let go. It has given me time to reflect on my actions and whether this lifestyle is right for me or not. I am a giver for the most part, however, I am also very independent and stubborn, which can get the best of me at times.

If I was to get back into an M/s relationship, either with my former Master or someone new, how can I be a better submissive without repeating the same behavior I had in the past?


Kink Talk Guru
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Dec 6, 2015
Some things to consider.
Are you saying this dynamic was only successful for a month?
Why did you question his rules commands etc?
The reason is important as it would affect how future dynamics could play out.
Were you collared within less than a month of setting things up with him?

Did you agree to terms conditions limits expectations etc?

Did you have an equal say in all those terms?

Did you ask or did he ask to discuss terms again as you felt things slipping? Like for possible adjustments amendments to what’s causing the negative reaction.

Off the bat. It sounds like a rushed scenario on both your parts and then lacking an open honest communication when things needed to be talked about. Did you have references of his “experience” or just a basic vague statement of being at it for years. Frankly any Dom who’s had the type training he claims would know better than to collar a brand new sub so quickly.

I think the future is what you make it. I’d suggest hit up all the novice newbies references you can. Check out some posts here as well. See what interests you. See what you want from it all. Set expectations so that you’re ready for a real talk with the next Dom. I’d say it’s not a good idea to go back 5 yrs later to the prior Dom. Bad history on both sides doesn’t set up a good start again. Finding yourself and your needs are the biggest focuses rn. Then see what is out there that fits you. Clearly communicate those needs to the next potential so he’s at least aware of it all.

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