Is it an expectation that a female sub will do/want oral sex?

[Lilly131]

Is this something that a dom would expect from a sub? And to clarify I consider this question to apply both ways. So for example would a dom except that a sub would give them oral sex and would also recieve oral sex from the dom? I am asking because i personally hate the idea of giving and receiving oral and while i am not looking now i was thinking about the future and wondered if a dom would be ok with not ever doing any kind of oral sex....

 

[bee9]

A good Dom will respect your limits and help you overcome them if you are eager to go that way. Forcing sub is a NO.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Interesting question but as with a lot of these "does a Dom" or "does a sub" expect type questions there is no single answer. Personally, for me oral is a major part of what I like so while I wouldn't call no oral a deal breaker I would be less likely to be attracted to a sub that wasn't in to it.
But I also think this is something that extends well beyond kink into mainstream sex, most guys want and/or expect oral from/with their girls. In fact it is often seen as almost like the "half way point" on the way to actual sex, fucking.
Bottom line is it would totally depend on the guy you get with but as it is a really common thing I would be making your views known sooner rather than later or it could lead to some disappointment in the heat of passion.

 

[Lilly131]

Hmmm this is tricky i understand many people enjoy it but the idea is such a huge turn off for me that it would instantly kill the mood on my end. But i also wouldnt want to have someone not do something they wanted to.... i suppose how likely is it that i guy wouldnt care/not want it themselves?

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Sure, and no one should be forcing it on you thats for sure.
How likely that most guys wouldn't care, honestly not likely, its such a common one it is really expected. For one off, I guess you could dodge it without a problem but in anything long term as I said you want to make sure they know at the outset and are ok with it.
I'm giving you my honest opinion here, others may disagree and I'm more than happy if they do as I know its not what you want to hear.
Maybe things are different in your peers?

 

[Lilly131]

I am fine with honest opinions i wouldnt ask if i didnt want one lol. I would of course tell them from the start i am not one to want to waste my time or theirs. As for my peer group i think it is still something most people would expect.... idk the idea just makes me so uncomfortable and like if i think too long it starts to make me feel sick. Which may be extreme but its what it is. I guess i will just have to see what happens. The other thing i am not really interested in is kissing which is extremely problematic I know but just anything with my mouth and it groses me out.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

This is probably something you could look at working on, Philemaphobia is the clinical name for the fear of kissing and it is considered treatable. Of course first you have to want to work on it.

 

[Lilly131]

It is not so much a fear... i mean parts of it are fear related but some of it is just that is grosses me out.... either way a problem.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Well thats actually what a phobia is, an irrational fear, being grossed out is just another manifestation of fear. One of the more common forms of philemaphobia is related to the fear of germs or disease, basically being grossed out by the thought of kissing.
Its certainly worth discussing with your GP and maybe get a referral to a psychologist as this would definitely be viewed as a social anxiety inducing phobia, I mean it really can't be easy for you to socialise with guys when any kind of relationship could lead very quickly to you being expected to do something that freaks you out.

 

[Lilly131]

I suppose i could look into it more.

 

[AmvetSB]

I have a strong opinion about this..
Although not all-encompassing, I feel that unless someone is wanting complete sexual dominance, the very nature of the sexual contact needs to be completely consensual.
I have witnessed and personally been in a few relationships that were D/s oriented that although genital "contact" was inherently part of many scenes, there weren't any sexual 'acts' involved.
I also feel that beyond 'trying something new', if you have discovered that you just don't like something, don't do it! If someone demands it of you, walk away! This reminds me of a posting here or elsewhere something to the effect "How to tell the difference between a dominant and an asshole." Back to basics, "safe, sane and consensual".

 

[kristina79]

bottom line if you dont want to do it dont do it (your body your in charge )
personally
i have been performing oral acts lately under submission with no sexual reward for me
i dont know why but im craving it

 

[oddjobber]

bottom line if you dont want to do it dont do it (your body your in charge )
personally
i have been performing oral acts lately under submission with no sexual reward for me
i dont know why but im craving it

"craving oral" has got to be one of the hottest phrases especially from such exquistite lips.

 

[Youwillcallmesir.]

Don't think there should be any "expectation" your bod your rules. If you are not a fan of giving and receiving then it might be prudent if it's something your partner enjoys to maybe find something else as a compromise.

 

[suslow]

This should be the same as any other thing that attracts/detracts from a potential partner. Some people will want it and not be a match. Some will be okay not doing it and that will be ok. Some don’t want it either and they match best. It’s not really different than any other thing you may want or not want to do, just be up front about it.

 

[andrei]

I think simply answer: yes. Not as a dom or sub but a way of life. Everyone likes it.

 

[zsadist]

while its no deal breaker for me.. i do love getting/giving oral..
so depending on the subs likes/limits.. it could very much be expected.. or used as a form of punishment/reward with some.. but if its a hard limit.. i could do without.. but .. one single generic answer.. impossible.. depends on the sub/partner and circumstances

 

[Curious_Lez]

I don’t think it should be an expectation, but I do think a lot of people assume it would be. Anyone who doesn’t respect that it’s not something you’re comfortable doing isn’t worth being with, though.

Everyone has different likes and limits for all kinds of different reasons. My girlfriend doesn’t like any vaginal presentation, while I love it. I don’t especially like receiving oral, but she loves it. We’re compatible with what we like, though, and that’s what matters. We’re not in a D/s relationship so the dynamic is a little different I guess, but you might just need to negotiate that kind of thing earlier on to screen out incompatible partners.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

I don’t think it should be an expectation, but I do think a lot of people assume it would be.

This is well put, I think it just such a common part of sex in general it is almost certainly going to be assumed so as mentioned you would need to bring it up early on to avoid misunderstandings.

 

[kaylessa]

I don’t especially like receiving oral, but she loves it.

I can relate. I'm not very much into receiving oral as well. Unfortunately my partner isn't as well. While I don't enjoy giving oral in the regular sense, I would love to try forced oral.