Just a quick note. I have called my Dom, Master in previous blogs but as I don?t actually call him that I?m going change it to Mr P, which is my nick name for him. I?ll leave you guessing as to why. We both don?t use honorific?s really as neither of us feel it is needed, I know my place without having to call him Master or Sir etc. I do have nicknames though and hardly ever get called by my actual name. My favourite two are little one and little smooch 
Anyway onto the real business. After I wrote my blog last week I had a long talk with Mr P where we actually got somewhere and discussed the issues we felt were creating problems. We both felt like we were trying too hard to force certain things like the rituals and fitting in to the whole Master/slave thing. I have always said I am no slave, I am a sub through and through and have felt slightly pressured to try and change that something that has back fired and put a strain on us both. We have decided to go back to just being us and bumbling along with what works for us and makes us happy and not feel like we have to conform the BDSM erm... how to put it? I guess stereo types and ?standards?.
My rituals have been cut down and now stand as:
? Keeping my T shaved
? Drinking my water everyday
? Reporting on what I?m eating
? Writing my blog
? Carrying my watch around with me
The drinking my water and reporting what I eat are about my well being and are something I am in the habit of doing anyway and have been in place almost since we started talking, my T I requested to stay and Mr P was more than happy about that, my blog again both of us want me to carry on doing and my watch I like to carry around and is my ?security? I guess in a way my collar. So everything else has been scrapped and was the decision made by both of us, things were becoming a chore and no longer fun and I think was one of the main reasons we hadn?t been playing hardly at all. For both of us it was too much like him having a small child to look after which isn?t how it should be, the BDSM side is part of our life and not supposed to take up all our life.
This doesn?t mean I don?t like my submission going into my everyday life but I don?t want it to make me feel unhappy and like I can?t make a move without being checked up on. I don?t want my submission to make me have to change who I am just help me grow and be part of who I am. After we had talked it all over and decided how things were wasn?t for us it honestly felt like a weight off my mind, we have been having little talks for the last month but skirting around the actual problem not wanting to upset each other. So I guess in a way we are starting over and just letting the rules a rituals grow by themselves instead of it being forced.
My submission has defiantly helped me to become more self confident and believe in my abilities more and has forced me to be a lot less self critical in how I look, my intelligence and just me in general. Mr P no longer listens when I put myself down and normally answers with ?if you say so?, I no longer have the opportunity to lay into myself and as I get my lovely compliments and rewards I just feel much more self confident in general.
On Sunday Mr P finally handed in his last piece of uni work so this week after the talk and his less busy schedule we have literally just played all week
And no the sexual side isn?t everything but if that part isn?t working it puts a strain on everything else and adds stress and tension. So right now I am basking in my ach cheeks, bruised boobies and over worked clitty hehe. I haven?t been pushed with the pain side of things in a long time and as Mr P was feeling particularly sadistic I ended up a lot more achy than I had bargained for.
My main thing was that I hadn?t been told to do a good hard spanking in a long time so Tuesday on my day off Mr P rang me and I ended up being pushed a lot harder than I have before with pain. Pegs (zippers) is something we have done before but I haven?t had wooden pegs so I could never physically pull them off by the string. As I?d bought wooden pegs I was told to put a line across my breasts and get myself on edge of cumming before putting the next peg on. I ended up with about 6 pegs on each breast and the fist peg I guess must have been in place for about 10 minutes which was on my nipples.
Once they were all on I had to thread the string between them all and tie it off at the end. It was really difficult to concentrate on threading the pegs because the pain from the pegs on the sides was really getting to me. I had two pegs left to do and Mr P asked how I was getting on and I found myself snapping back because I was getting so frustrated and nervous about having to pull them back off again. I was given a countdown and told to pull from one end until all the pegs were off when he reached one. The pain was so bad I couldn?t even make a sound and I ended up just curling up on my bed and squeaking out ?ooowie? lol. I seriously just couldn?t say anything else as it was right on the edge of my pain threshold. The main challenge with this is having to pull the string myself knowing the pain I?m going to inflict on myself and although I get a kick out of it its defiantly not something I could do to myself without orders.
I also got two really hard spankings this week which meant that my bum muscles ach so much and so deeply I couldn?t actually sit down at work, I ended up just standing to Mr Ps amusement. I rang him while at work for a chat and all he did was laugh and taunt me about not being able to sit down, what a meanie! Unfortunately to my annoyance I didn?t get any bruising because I used a different hair brush to normal so the impact was spread over a wider area than usual. I know it sounds silly but I love the marks I get from playing with Mr P it?s a bit like battle scars that I like to proudly show them off to him. I guess it?s because it clearly shows the pain I have taken for him and I love getting up the next day and seeing them it always makes me grin.
To top my happy week off Mr P is coming home on Monday yaaaaaay! Which means by the end of next week I will be able to cash in all of the hugs, kisses and gropes he owes me and i owe him Going to be so nice to see him again and we have decided to have one of our traditional pub days in London and maybe go to the Cabinet War Rooms just to add a little culture in to the day. So all in all an excellent week and although I was feeling a little glum before writing this I now have a smile on my face and looking at the little bruises on my boobies
Anyway onto the real business. After I wrote my blog last week I had a long talk with Mr P where we actually got somewhere and discussed the issues we felt were creating problems. We both felt like we were trying too hard to force certain things like the rituals and fitting in to the whole Master/slave thing. I have always said I am no slave, I am a sub through and through and have felt slightly pressured to try and change that something that has back fired and put a strain on us both. We have decided to go back to just being us and bumbling along with what works for us and makes us happy and not feel like we have to conform the BDSM erm... how to put it? I guess stereo types and ?standards?.
My rituals have been cut down and now stand as:
? Keeping my T shaved
? Drinking my water everyday
? Reporting on what I?m eating
? Writing my blog
? Carrying my watch around with me
The drinking my water and reporting what I eat are about my well being and are something I am in the habit of doing anyway and have been in place almost since we started talking, my T I requested to stay and Mr P was more than happy about that, my blog again both of us want me to carry on doing and my watch I like to carry around and is my ?security? I guess in a way my collar. So everything else has been scrapped and was the decision made by both of us, things were becoming a chore and no longer fun and I think was one of the main reasons we hadn?t been playing hardly at all. For both of us it was too much like him having a small child to look after which isn?t how it should be, the BDSM side is part of our life and not supposed to take up all our life.
This doesn?t mean I don?t like my submission going into my everyday life but I don?t want it to make me feel unhappy and like I can?t make a move without being checked up on. I don?t want my submission to make me have to change who I am just help me grow and be part of who I am. After we had talked it all over and decided how things were wasn?t for us it honestly felt like a weight off my mind, we have been having little talks for the last month but skirting around the actual problem not wanting to upset each other. So I guess in a way we are starting over and just letting the rules a rituals grow by themselves instead of it being forced.
My submission has defiantly helped me to become more self confident and believe in my abilities more and has forced me to be a lot less self critical in how I look, my intelligence and just me in general. Mr P no longer listens when I put myself down and normally answers with ?if you say so?, I no longer have the opportunity to lay into myself and as I get my lovely compliments and rewards I just feel much more self confident in general.
On Sunday Mr P finally handed in his last piece of uni work so this week after the talk and his less busy schedule we have literally just played all week
And no the sexual side isn?t everything but if that part isn?t working it puts a strain on everything else and adds stress and tension. So right now I am basking in my ach cheeks, bruised boobies and over worked clitty hehe. I haven?t been pushed with the pain side of things in a long time and as Mr P was feeling particularly sadistic I ended up a lot more achy than I had bargained for.My main thing was that I hadn?t been told to do a good hard spanking in a long time so Tuesday on my day off Mr P rang me and I ended up being pushed a lot harder than I have before with pain. Pegs (zippers) is something we have done before but I haven?t had wooden pegs so I could never physically pull them off by the string. As I?d bought wooden pegs I was told to put a line across my breasts and get myself on edge of cumming before putting the next peg on. I ended up with about 6 pegs on each breast and the fist peg I guess must have been in place for about 10 minutes which was on my nipples.
Once they were all on I had to thread the string between them all and tie it off at the end. It was really difficult to concentrate on threading the pegs because the pain from the pegs on the sides was really getting to me. I had two pegs left to do and Mr P asked how I was getting on and I found myself snapping back because I was getting so frustrated and nervous about having to pull them back off again. I was given a countdown and told to pull from one end until all the pegs were off when he reached one. The pain was so bad I couldn?t even make a sound and I ended up just curling up on my bed and squeaking out ?ooowie? lol. I seriously just couldn?t say anything else as it was right on the edge of my pain threshold. The main challenge with this is having to pull the string myself knowing the pain I?m going to inflict on myself and although I get a kick out of it its defiantly not something I could do to myself without orders.
I also got two really hard spankings this week which meant that my bum muscles ach so much and so deeply I couldn?t actually sit down at work, I ended up just standing to Mr Ps amusement. I rang him while at work for a chat and all he did was laugh and taunt me about not being able to sit down, what a meanie! Unfortunately to my annoyance I didn?t get any bruising because I used a different hair brush to normal so the impact was spread over a wider area than usual. I know it sounds silly but I love the marks I get from playing with Mr P it?s a bit like battle scars that I like to proudly show them off to him. I guess it?s because it clearly shows the pain I have taken for him and I love getting up the next day and seeing them it always makes me grin.
To top my happy week off Mr P is coming home on Monday yaaaaaay! Which means by the end of next week I will be able to cash in all of the hugs, kisses and gropes he owes me and i owe him
Going to be so nice to see him again and we have decided to have one of our traditional pub days in London and maybe go to the Cabinet War Rooms just to add a little culture in to the day. So all in all an excellent week and although I was feeling a little glum before writing this I now have a smile on my face and looking at the little bruises on my boobies 
