I started wearing diapers, with no desire to be little or femmy, because I wanted to humiliate myself. Something like 15 years ago I went to WMM, and found Sarnoga. Started training with his diaper files. I've been wearing diapers on and off ever since. It was not long after I began wearing that I quickly developed a strong sexual attraction to diapers and being diapered (TY Sarnoga). At this time, pretty much just the thought of diapers would get my blood to boil over. As the years have gone by I've tried more things, acquired more ABDL everything. I found out, about 5 years in or so, that I enjoyed also being little. The world is a stressful place, and being able to regress and see the world through the innocent eyes of a child, I mean not pretending to, but really experiencing it again, is a most wonderful and amazing treasure. Worth so much more than money to me. So, what's the term.. I've been chasing a dragon, hehe. There is quite a lot one can do in the ABDL playspace. So many interesting and stimulating ways to humiliate and embarrass. To control and dominate. You can really mess with a persons mind with this stuff. It hasn't gotten boring for me yet. I hope it never does. A year or so ago I accepted the fact that I am a Sissy Baby at heart. As much as I don't want to be. It's my nature and I live it. The first time I stood before my wall mirror, wearing my satin baby dress, bonnet, mittens, booties, diaper, and frilly diaper cover, the first time I looked at myself like that, I came in my diaper almost instantly. It was amazing. I am a Sissy Baby and this fetish is the best thing ever! lol
Sorry for rambling, I just love talking about diapers.