I'd have to say I almost completely agree with Chloe.
I'd also like to say that you're doing something wrong if you are constantly censoring your child's life. You cannot protect children from everything, nor should you try. Some things need to be learned by experience, so give them the tools they need to succeed. Let them know about sex, show them the billions of pictures of syphilis, herpes, etc, and let them know the risks.
Human sexuality is a part of all humans, regardless of age, and if you stifle talk about it you'll only end up having your child go off to find out about sex on his/her own, which very well could be by having it. If you have raised your child right, then your child will know when it's appropriate for him/her to have sex. There will be a right time, and they will know.
You should encourage discussion of anything without "being mad." I'm 100% certain that your child has been to any chat room you've forbidden, and talked to much older men than you think she has. So my suggestion is to let your child be, inform her, and stop being the dictator she is going to defy out of spite. Put less emphasis on her virginity and more on her growth and development.
As to the original post, I've got a bunch of kids that message me from these fetish sites. Once I find out how old they are, I usually do not discuss intimate things, but I do answer questions. I find they are often like I was at 14, curious with nowhere to turn. I had sex by the time I was 15 mainly to see what it was like. If my parents ever said anything about sex, I don't remember it. I don't think the word has ever even popped up in the 23 years I've been alive. At least, not from their mouths.
And finally, I don't know who said it, but you do not need to think like a child to converse with them. Some of the 14 and 12 year olds that message me have some good ideas. They often think about things, and can provide insight adults can't give you. Of course, if you always think you're better than someone because of age, you'll eventually find the 8 year old MIT graduate that built a working communications satellite out of toothpicks, chewing gum, and a coconut, and learn something new. Hopefully.