Disappearance...

[fairtitania]

So, something strange has happened and Sir, who I've been happily training with, has disappeared. I'm worried as it doesn't make sense, and as far as I can tell his phone hasn't been on and there has been no email. Kik is on S but not been delivered since Wednesday evening. I wish there was a way for me to know what has happened as I don't think he would be displeased. And I know, often in the evening, he would be doing some heavy work outside.

But also, I realise how much the training is really altering how I behave now that I suddenly feel uncontrolled. Since the beginning of April I have been waking up and preparing my pussy for Sir, it's the first thing I do as He doesn't want a dry pussy. I have been dressing for him, training for him, he has made me try things and accept things I was sure would not happen, and each day we have been communicating and now I feel rather anchorless.

So, in some ways, I'm behaving like a kid in a candy store - Sir would never allow me as many orgasms as I had yesterday - or this morning - but I also feel disjointed. Who am I doing this for? Part of me wants to be dominated now, but that feels very disloyal as I don't want to replace Sir - he's been wonderful, patient and challenging. I just don't know what has happened.

So, I'm haunting around here, reading and wondering when do I make any decisions. How long do you wait until you try to find a new Dom if the one you have disappears? How do I find out that he is okay? Who do I dress for now? Am I allowed to use my toys? Having enjoyed the online training - and hoping that we would eventually meet - do I seek a Dom who is close by if I don't hear from Sir?

So many questions...

 

[Domineer]

I don't know you or him, so I obviously can't give any specific advice, but I do know that "sudden disappearance" is an extremely common way for online BDSM relationships to end.

There is, obviously, the possibility that an accident happened to him - but, without knowing him, I'd say that it is much more likely that he just "pulled the online plug".

Whatever happened, you should put the D/s on standby until you hear back from him - or until you feel it's time to move on.

I'm sorry if this sounds rough, but I really don't think you were on the right path to begin with if your thoughts are focused on finding a replacement after he has been missing for just four days.

Maybe you need to be dominated more than you need him?

 

[stevehyde234]

That really sucks, i'm sorry to hear that. I'm kinda with Domineer. I hope he comes back, for your sake. But if he doesn't and you feel like you need a new master, someone to dress for, or just to talk to or whatever, my kik is stevehyde234

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Just wait a while, shit happens in the real world and people have to deal with it. Some show of loyalty would be appreciated I'm sure.

 

[fairtitania]

Domineer, thanks for the comment and trust me, I'm not looking to replace him - just feeling a bit lost as I've spent the last few months so concentrated on him that I now still feel the heightened awareness that he was developing but nowhere for it to go. It would be easier to hibernate, probably.

But I thought I was just joining a discussion group today and have ended up spending the day telling Doms that I'm not interested. For a lot of reasons I'm not looking right now - but am wondering how long do I wait? If you are right and he's just ended it - what is the grieving process? I'm not actually asking for an answer - these are the rhetorical questions running through my brain.