Do you think many Dom's have a background strong in psychology?

[ByteMe]

I recently read the bio of a dominatrix who operates out the basement in her house. I wasn't very surprised to hear she had a post-graduate degree in psychology. She spoke about how regularly her psychology training adds great benefit to her Dom / Sub relationships.

Has anyone else heard this, or perhaps some doms can comment.

 

[AlienMindsInc]

Actually, I'd be surprised to hear of a dom with an advanced psychology degree. I am not surprised it helps, though.

The reason I'd be surprised is because doms don't really need a psychology degree to be a good dom, and the DSM IV (psychology diagnosis manual) often lists all of the good traits of a good dom as several different really bad things. If you were really to take the DSM seriously, and be a professional psychologist, you'd likely end up thinking BDSM is destructive behavior that is abusive to your partner and unhealthy in general.

Now, behavioral psychology is entirely different. It is very interesting and doesn't make those kind of generalizations from the DSM. It generally tries to get to the root of the problem and fix it thorough a longer training process. I would suggest any dom take several classes in it, it is very helpful. I have taken several years of ABA 1 and 2 as a grader/cameraman, and I can honestly say they are great classes, and while you might not legally be allowed to be certified in them without a degree in undergraduate psychology first (not certain about laws on this), they are very helpful. Of course they usually have a 1k per semester price tag, so I can see why you might not want to take them.

 

[sum1]

I don't see why you'd be surprised that someone has a degree on psychology, or a degree in anything for that matter. It just shows that you can't judge someone based upon a single element of their life.

To answer the origional question i think yes of course it will help, but isn't nessecary. Some kind of intrest in it, or intrest in councliling is another big advantage.

 

[Simplyme]

I've never really thought about it but I can see how that may be beneficial to maintaining a emotionally balanced relationship. But then again that is not always what is wanted lol. So I don't know

 

[sum1]

I'd say rather than it simply being about a balanced relationship it's important for the Dominant to understand what they're doing psychologically as well as physically to their charge. Also some understanding of psychology makes for better punishments and opens the ability to play in some different areas (mind games and the such).

 

[Fiendish]

As has already been stated, I don't think most doms have any real background in psychology, though it doesn't hurt to have some background in it.

It opens up so much more in the life...

 

[Merlin]

Just an idea... we could also see it the other way around as I think it is good to be emphatic as a dom and also as a psychologist... meaning a good dom could also be a good psychologist.

 

[TensionRoom101]

Psychology forms an important part of my Dom sessions. Not only do I think it's essential, I think it's very irresponsible of any Dom to not at least have the grasp of rudimentary psychology.

Mike

 

[Isabell]

I don't think it would be very strange to have a good understanding of phyc. If you think about it some all good Doms/Dommes tend to have a very good understanding of the human minds gears. It is one of the things thats makes a good Dom/Domme really stand out.

Not only can a good Dom/Domme work one's body, but all the little triggers of the mind. Not everything is always done on a physical level. Doms/Dommes who work on a mental level as well know how to set the triggers up and then trip them.

Here's an example. A Dom has a slave sit very still shirtless while blindfolded. The Dom tells the slave that he has a very sharp knife in his hand. The Dom says he is going to use it on the slave. He further says that he doesn't want to cut the slave so the slave must hold very still. The Dom lets the slave sit for a moment or two letting the images run through the slave's head. Perhaps the Dom cuts up an apple in the background. Gives the slave a piece of fruit. Then the Dom picks up a butter knife and begins to apply just enough pressure for the slave to feel it. The Dom uses the butter knife how he sees fit stopping every now and then to go cut some thing up the other shappened knife. The noise of items being cut reminds the slave that the knife he/she hears being used is one they think is being used on them. The Dom goes back to using the butter knife on the slave.

When the session is done the Dom may choose to show the slave the knife he was using to cut things up with. (There is no need to show the slave that he/she was never really in harm's way. Besides if you show him/her how the trick was done you can't do it again.) Showing the knife at the end helps to complete the illusion and keeps the heart rate up some.

 

[ofthenorth]

My background

I've actually taken a few psych classes and I'll admit they have helped a bit.

Going back to what AlienMindsInc said the DSM does say a lot of negative things about sadomasochism and I actually did a project on that topic and how the idea of paraphilias does not necessarily imply a disorder but simply a preference. Though not always socially acceptable and sometimes they may be considered a disorder, in the case of pedophilia and such, they are simply a sexual preference.

That being said I don't believe that having a psych degree would deter any true Dominant as they would see rationally the same conclusions as I have drawn in the above paragraph. Multiple psychologists have already written articles on the subject that certain paraphilias should be removed from the DSM as they are not harmful or cause for alarm.

As for me personally my psych classes have helped me a lot in my role as a Dom. While the example Isabell gave does involve head games it doesn't take a psych class to know that you can freak out a blindfolded sub with a threat of a knife. However, taking a psych class can help you watch the reactions of the sub during that threat. Run your hand across their chest when you make the threat, not for the physical sensation but to check their heart beat. If you say knife to someone blindfolded their heartbeat would normally get faster, see if you feel that, if you don't if they act scared but their heart remains the same you know they're just putting on a show for you in their actions and you need to step it up if you really want to get their blood going but also it tells you that you have their absolute trust. You gain that trust and you can manipulate it to your advantage in future situations. Take a class on Freudian psychology learn about the various stages of human development. The oral, anal, phallic, etc. Use those for your advantage. Learn to discretely monitor vital signs, (breathing, heart rate, eye motion, shakes, clamy skin, etc). Then monitor them when doing various things and test the reactions. Your sub may say they "hate anal but only do it to please you" but their body may betray them and say otherwise that they love it, taking a course in Freudian psych would show that this is due to underdevelopment in certain stages of life and cause for a fixation on it. Little things like this can always help.

So no I don't think it's necessary to have a degree in psychology to be a Dom, but I won't lie it certainly helps A LOT. Take a few classes, read a few books. You'll be amazed at how it helps out.

Also I suggest learning a little about criminal interrogation techniques. Not necessarily to do an interrogation scene with your sub but by learning them you can read your subs reactions a lot better. My school has a good criminal justice program and I've taken a few classes as electives and learned a lot.

 

[Odiefrom]

Well, all the background in psych studies I have is a year in high school, and a year in college for the fun of it. Not very long, but long enough to establish some basics. Like the concept of conditioning, for example. There are certain phrases that when I send, I can get a response that is natural-seeming to my slave, but is really foreign. Having only an online slave, the ideas of sensations and the like are unrealistic for me to replicate and use. However other concepts become applicable. So with almost no background, I see it helping. Hope that adds another thought to the plate.

 

[LadyC]

Quite honestly, most of the, 'good', and I use that term very loosely here, doms generally have taken at least one or two classes in psychology if not more. I know for myself I've had behavioural psychology as well as rhetoric psychology which focuses on the basics such as the human brain, how it works, other such things.

For me, psychology is a very large part of what I do. I find that being able to get into the mind of my submissive is much more fun than just telling them what to do and how to do it. It's the making them bend to do it because they feel as though they want to, rather than as a dom, forcing them to, that is the rewarding part.

But that's just me. I'm also on the sister site getdare.com and I will say that people find psychological domination very strange and almost have never even heard of it. So it's nice to see that there's actually others out there who have heard of the use of psychology in domination.

 

[mistresslilly43]

worldly

I like to think that the Dom that has worldly experience ,especially from being a parent or in a committed relationship , and who has been able to negioatiate with thier children ,husband ,boyfriend , girlfriend , buddy or lover has all the traits and social skills of a good psych ,
especially if the Dom can get her or his way ,without really applying any force , more so they can coerce thier charge to the position or thinking that they wanted , by simply guiding with a question or six , the fun part starts when the subject actually questions his or herself as to whether they should be going there , thats when the panties or toys or rope or the hand or the whip or the paddle comes out
and the true enjoyment really begins