What is a sub?

[Leech]

Show of hands again, who thinks a sub is: a Slut? Emotionally damaged? Just seeking attention? Has gender issues? Looking for love in all the wrong places?
How many hands this time? Those of you who left your hands down are free to go the rest put your arms down and listen up.
A Slut
A sub seeks someone to give not only their heart but their whole being. This a true sub will be more chaste than any one looking for "love" because the stakes are much higher. They may "advertise" themselves places most would call "dirty" but they seek a certain quality that dating sites just don't test for. I know in my case I am a bit more promiscuous with a "Domme" than I would be other wise and I guess others are as well but I still deny it as being slutty, nae it is just upping the game to find out what the other is all about.
*Emotionaly Damaged"
A sub seeks someone to take complete contol of them. They seek to give of themself on a level that makes marriage look like the piece of paper that defines it. They wish to share and give their body, mind, emotion, devotion, and any other part to the one the deem worthy. Maybe you call it damage, I call it liberation.
Just seeking attention
I have heard this but don't really see it. Most subs seem to prefer to not be noticed. They are the ones siting back and reading/listening to all everyone has to say. The ones that post/ask an intelligent question then sit back to absorbe the answer.
Has gender issues
This is more said about the male sub, most likely because society tell us females are the natural submissives. But remember women's suffrage? Remember the equal rights movements? Equality of the sexes, it goes both ways. Why think any less of the male that wants to serve then your would of the female that wants to lead?
Another part of this has to do with pegging I'm sure. But really what sexual act better demonstrates submission then being penetrated in your exit. Male or female your showing that which you feel for your Dom.
Looking for love in all the wrong places
So this one is almost true. Other then love isn't what the sub seeks any more then a plant seeks to grow to a light bulb instead of the sun. So yes the are in the wrong place to seek love, but they seek so much more then that. They search deeper and harder, they open themself further, they bare it all to find that which most don't even know exists.

 

[pure_hearted_sub]

I actually disagree with a few of the points you made, and I feel like it's probably different for switches than subs. For example, a lot of subs are emotionally damaged, myself included. The confidence I lacked around the time I started being interested in sexual things caused me to like the idea of being tied up and such. And because of the way I was often spoken to when I was very young, I can't take verbal degradation and I have a rebellious streak. I feel like this also sort of made me want to be controlled by someone fair, hence my submissive nature. Even though I'm emotionally stronger now, I carried those traits with me. I think a lot of subs and doms have had issues, usually early in life. One of the reasons I love the BDSM community so much is because a lot of us are damaged, we accept each other for it, and we find an escape through this passion that we all share.

Another thing I don't agree with is that subs aren't looking for love. Maybe a lot of subs aren't, but it's certainly not always true. I want a relationship like the kind that used to be very common: the guy takes care of and protects the girl, and sort of takes the lead in the relationship. You can't have this without love, or at least emotional attraction. Of course, I want this in addition to being tied up, edged, tormented, etc. but that's beside the point. Submission is not always purely sexual. My dom looks after me, and as much as I love our sexual experiences, THAT is the best thing about being his sub.

I actually do really like what you said about gender stereotypes. I know that what I said in the previous paragraph could have been interpreted as being sexist, but submission is not about gender, it's about psychology. Most women do have the psychology that makes them more submissive, but society forces that down our throats and tells us that we all should be. I see dominant women and submissive men as an equivalent to being left-handed: it may not be common, but it's perfectly normal. The fact that "femdom" sometimes gets put in a separate category from "normal" BDSM sort of pisses me off.

Over all, this is really good, and it comes from your viewpoint as a switch. Your dom one was spot on because you're probably more of a dom?

 

[Leech]

I won't argue that some subs do have emotional issues. I do hesitate to call it damage though. Mainly it is just different. My main point on this part was that just because someone seeks to be a sub doesn't mean they have emotional issues.
I apologize on this one, I didn't mean to say they where not looking for love, love is a part of it. But there is so much more to it as well.
I have always thought I was naturally submissive. I don't know anymore. That is why I just go with switch. Writing the Dom part was much easier and I felt satisfied when it was done. This one didn't feel as good. :/