Bringing in someone else

willyable

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Aug 1, 2008
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#1
Has anyone talked with their partner about bringing in someone else as far as having a threesome? Do you think that it's a bad idea to do something like that. My mother told me that she thinks It's a bad idea because someone is bound to get attached emotionally which can cause problems in your relationship.
 

yvonnewilcox

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Jul 30, 2008
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#2
Talked about it briefly about 4 years ago

Has anyone talked with their partner about bringing in someone else as far as having a threesome? Do you think that it's a bad idea to do something like that. My mother told me that she thinks It's a bad idea because someone is bound to get attached emotionally which can cause problems in your relationship.
My husband and I talked about it. He mentioned it one time just out of curiosity but when I asked him how would he feel watching another man making me cum, he quickly decided that was not an good idea. It seems to me that he was really to strip naked when we were talking about 2 female and 1 male but the idea of 2 males and 1 female was out of the question.
 

Momof2

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Jun 24, 2008
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#3
My husband was totally against it at first when I spoke to him about it but later on he said not another man but another woman he might try.
 

TensionRoom101

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#4
It is extremely common for the fella to broach the subject of a threesome, only to quickly withdraw the idea when other men are involved. Odd that.

Only you know how strong your relationship is, and whether it will enhance or destroy what you have. I've had open relationships that survived and thrived, and others that I knew must remain 1on1 or die.

The two main issues are emotional attachment, as you mentioned, and insecurities. Could he cope seeing you squeal to orgasm on another man's cock? How would you cope if he suddenly got territorial, confrontational or insular?

I have been invited into many a couple. At least half I've rejected, simply because I recognised their relationship wasn't strong enough to survive it.

Take your time. If you want to ask questions, feel free to PM me.

Mike
 

His_Einna

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Apr 17, 2009
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#5
Sir and I talk about it quite often; I'm bisexual (closer to lesbian than straight) and Sir likes the idea. We plan to do it as soon as we can find someone suitable!
 

Sour Candy

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Apr 12, 2009
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#6
my guy and i have talked openly about it since we first got together, in high school. we try to make it a point to keep everything out in the open, so that jealousy isn't a factor in our relationship{s}.
 
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Master_Emanon

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Mar 15, 2009
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#7
Yes i have, but i suppose for I, it is rather different since i personally find monogamy pointless, so have had open relationships with past girlfriends... (who know the difference between sex and feelings, and that the two are not one in the same) so it works for us, as well as we had threesomes, orgies, and things of that matter.

To answer your question, if both of the two have strong feelings for another then, a threesome would not be a bad idea, its just sex, yet can turn bad if the person breaks rule number one... not to fall for the other person.. but if they see it as just enjoyable sex then it can be a great experience.

To your last part..
It's a bad idea because someone is bound to get attached emotionally which can cause problems in your relationship.
it is not a bad idea, since not every one sees sex as something needing emotional attachment for, maybe mild physical attraction.. but many people such as myself (i am a diagnosed sex addict as well) who have threesomes, open relationships, they know while you can love your bf and gf, you also know the others are just sex, momentary sexual entertainment...

But many men as previously mentioned withdraw when she wants two men, in the threesome, i have done MfM, FMF three somes though i prefer two woman, i didnt get caught up on the MFM, just have to take turns on the girl, same with two woman except the woman takes turns on the man...
 

Swingfan

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Apr 3, 2010
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#8
My wife and I tried it once with another couple ( our friends ) and since then our friendship with them hasn't been the same and also our relationship suffered because of it.
 

GoogleMaster

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Dec 12, 2009
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#9
My partner brought it up with me. She was more interested than I was. I told her I loved the idea of being with another woman, loved the idea of her being with other women but I was not comfortable with other men- for her or me. I told her I knew it was not an reciprocal demand but if she wanted to then that was where I stood.

We have had a few good experiences. The hardest part has been to find a girl to play with. We find someone online, for example, and she doesn't show. Or we think about a friend, but she is not interested.

So any tips on recruitment would also be appreciated.
 

slavekitty

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Apr 8, 2010
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#10
My boyfriend broached the subject to me because he has a fantasy about me enjoying another man...he gets extremely turned on by the thought of me wanting another man so badly while he watches on the sidelines... to be honest I am so against the idea because I can almost guarantee it would ruin our relationship T_T I have the fantasy of enjoying another man provided mine is included but I would never carry it out. I like to just be with my guy and would never give up some part of me for another.
 

Tcity

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May 14, 2010
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#11
for us

thats why in my case, when I was dating that I concenctrated on dating resources that would focus on sexual potential.
Meaning i tended to have open personalsin those kind of sites and related back then.

It usually meant a higher chance of open possibililties.

In those cases the emotional stuff was usually only physical.

the GF I had then, was a swinger, as I was a newbie swinger then.
And we dated for 2 years before breaking off for other reasons (family, etc) that had nothing to do with sex or relationship entanglements.


We often ended up having 4somes and similar and only twice did we have issues and it was always a new person who we tried to add to the group.

Finding that one or two couples is often the way to avoid problems.

However, once we were a couple, we both never deviated from doing any fun with others on our own.
Any fun had to include both of us or nothing.
Or at least with the non-particpant in attendance.
 

boundperil

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May 12, 2008
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#12
We had a threesome last year with a very old friend. My bride actually started it, but we all have been permissive for years. It was great for my bride, our friendship didn't suffer, but my friend made it clear that it would no happen again.

In all honesty, it didn't do anything for me. Afterwards, we figured it was because it was just too vanilla. Funny, isn't it?
 

Nixie

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Mar 24, 2010
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#13
I have my biggest Fantasy of having 2 men at once.

Probably will never happen, But never say never.

Have had MFF and Group "sessions" though. Only ONCE did it end badly and that was due to the other party. *sigh* Setting guidelines is a must as is following them. Things GO WRONG when YOU don't follow these ground rules and let emotions rule. BUT cutting yourself off from all emotion during "sex" for a WOMAN is HARD. IMO. We do over think things and let our emotions rule. Keeping it contained is a better word for this.
 

CollaredBlondie

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Sep 14, 2009
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#14
The boyfriend says that he'll never share me with another man but I can do what I like to another woman as long as a) he can watch, b) I record it or c) both of the above.

Thing is, I'd never do it, not even with one of the famous ladies that we both like, 'cause I'm far too loyal and I'd feel terrible afterwards - it'd be cheating in my book, even if I do have his permission.
 

Poppy

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May 26, 2010
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#15
DH and I invited another woman into our bed about 9 years ago. It was a disaster, almost ruined our relationship. It took me YEARS to stop picturing him fucking her. We both have fantasies but if we ever acted them out it would have to be me with another party and him either only watching or only interacting with me. I'm the jealous one and he is not at all jealous, he knows I am completely devoted to him.

On the other hand, I have been the invited party in a threesome when I was single and that was great.
 

John Masters

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Sep 14, 2009
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#16
Collardblondie hit the nail on the head. It's a question of trust. If you can involve other poeple in your relationship without violating the trust of either partner then it could be a good experience for both of you. If one of you feels betrayed then there is a whole world of grief waiting. I'm sure there are couples out there for whom this would work but I suspect that all to often it's a one-sided situation (husband wants MFF but wont entertain MMF for example) and making the fantasy a reality would leave your partner hurt and betrayed.
 

LadyLomion

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#18
Totally off the ball. The biggest buyers of hardcore porn are straight guys, and hardcore porn is full of hard cocks fucking, being sucked and cumming.

You perhaps have no desire or are uncomfortable around dicks, but many straight guys have no hang ups about it.

Lis x
 

darkstar97

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Mar 28, 2011
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#19
Recently, like last night, me and my girlfriend were playing a game truth (not truth or dare because we were on skype.) and the question came up "have you ever been in a 3some, if so did you enjoy it and would you do it again? if no the would you consider it." In all honesty I expected her to say no and no, but to my surprise she said, "no and yeah I'd consider it." so we got to talking about the subject a little more and she said she wouldn't feel comfortable with another guy taking part, but another girl would be fine, and that it'd probably be one of best friends... (what guy wouldn't love that response right?) so we started to talk about what rules she'd want in place, and the only one she could really think of was no face kissing for me and the other girl... (which again surprised me) I fully expected her to say well you can fuck me, but I don't want you doing anything with her. (which I'd be fine with, 2 girls together gets me really turned on anyways.) Then she opened the question even more by saying that she'd be okay with her and her friend getting it on together while I watched... this is all from a "straight" girl.... GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!! so Idk if we'll ever actually do it, but the card are definitely on the table as of right now...
 

John Masters

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#20
Sounds as though the dream many men have might come true for you. Exiting times but beware things can get complicated if your girlfriend should feel that you don't care for her as much as you did especially if you were to start snogging the other girl. You may need to take time to reassure her.

The kissing issue is not unusual. Women often see kissing as far more intimate and personal than sexual intercourse.