Discovering new possibilities

adini

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Dominant
Apr 19, 2018
5
0
0
25
#1
Hey all!

I don't really know how to start, but here's the short story long:

My new SO asked me to be more dominant in bed. Her exes never were into being dominant or bondage or something like that (still pervs :p ).
I'm interested in it for years, but never had a partner to do it. (Although my last ex told me I'm too commanding, so there is a some experience in being dominant ;) )

I have some ideas about bondage and she has (quite a lot of) toys to start, but the sheer possibilities are making me nervous. The last weeks I watched a lot of introduction and security videos about bondage and I think I know the basics and can keep her safe. (You know, safety first. I don't want to hurt her [by mistake])

We talk a lot and about almost everything, but I'm still nervous and need a little reassurance and maybe some experience outside of our relationship. Nothing personal, just to get a feeling for my dominant side.

I joined getdare and thought about giving orders there to work on it.

As I read my text again, it sounds a little bit stupid, but maybe you understand what I mean.

So, my question:
What could I do to make myself more confident regarding my dominant side?

Kisses, adini
 

Tiden

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jun 25, 2012
29
0
1
#2
Well its the same as you were virgin again, and have your first GF in front of you. Im sure at the time it was scary and was too much possibilities lol
no need to be stressed about it, once you start it the fun gonna take over and you gonna enjoy it more than being nervous about it.

About being confident. Well experience helps the best, and seeing your partner enjoying what you are doing. Im pretty sure its gonna be just fine, so just let your fantasy to flow.

Yes..reading my comment again it doesnt sound hlepful but i hope it adds something
 

dariodragon7

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jul 13, 2015
35
0
0
33
#3
Only experiencing can give you the real feel and make you understand if you really want to do it or not and if it's in you or not.

What I suggest you is avoiding rope play for now, it can be dangerous if done by inexperienced hands. Instead use blindfolds to cover her eyes, scarf to tie her arms to her legs to keep her spread, ball gags if necessary but preferably one that has holes in it for breathing. That is if you enjoy bondage in the exact term of it

Control is different. Without having bondage involved you can have her perform tasks, be it having her on her knees and making her please you sexually, spank her (preferably bare handed at first), and do some edging on her just to tease and torture her.

If you are looking for non-sexual control too have her write your name somewhere on her body and keep it all day so she remember who she belongs to, have her write some sentences naked on the floor on her knees etc.

There are a wide range of possibilities. I doubt giving random dares or orders to random peoples will help you understand and as well reading articles might get you more confused.

Either is you have first hand experiencing with her, trying and experimenting or you accept the guidance of a more experienced Dom/Domme who you can trust to guide you and show you how things are and can be done

My only real suggestion is avoid the ropes for now and go back to them in the future after you've been properly trained on them.

If you wish and have doubts and think i can be trusted, send me a private message
 

adini

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Dominant
Apr 19, 2018
5
0
0
25
#4
Thank you both!

I just spanked and teased her yesterday and I get a hang for it :eek:

The idea to let her write my name on her is very tempting. We will go to a party in the evening and I think I give it a try. Not visible of course, but so that she remembers. Thank you very much!

I will search the forum for more ideas to try and learn.

And I will stay away from the ropes for a little while longer. :)
 

deedeedosst

Verified Kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Submissive
Dec 4, 2017
68
3
8
Engalnd
#5
Thank you both!

I just spanked and teased her yesterday and I get a hang for it :eek:

The idea to let her write my name on her is very tempting. We will go to a party in the evening and I think I give it a try. Not visible of course, but so that she remembers. Thank you very much!

I will search the forum for more ideas to try and learn.

And I will stay away from the ropes for a little while longer. :)
I had a dom female write "property of her name" just above my cock. Unknown to me she had purposely used a perminant marker pen. It took two weeks to get it washed off and I had to cancel a medical. She could be a real bitch at times but I loved it.