Do men objectify femdoms?

[StormyDungeons]

Lurking around I have come across many submissive men talking about their femdom fantasies where the female dominant/top is always extremely sexy, always dressed very sexily and wears the highest heels, now I understand fantasies and there's nothing wrong in it.

But somehow these objectified physical traits have also made their way into general expectations and requirements sometimes reflected in ads seeking for femdoms as well. I may be wrong about my perceptions and that is the reason why I have made this thread to seek more insights.

I feel such expectations may be influenced from porn or paid services etc. idk and if one is really looking to experience submission in D/s dynamic with regular people then this false expectation is self defeating as this kind of objectification is actually subjugation of someone you want to submit to and just FYI heels that high aren't that comfortable. The reason why this topic crossed my mind was as a female sub I never objectified male doms or felt that to be a relevant factor to be considered but then that could just be me.

Again like I said, I do not believe this is always true for everyone and just wanted to gather some insights from all of you to gain some perspective on this. So share your thoughts on this topic and please don't attack me for posting this thread, pretty please..lol.

This post is an oldie but a goodie in more ways than one.

Dating back to the early 1970s a German researcher named Shere Hite was convinced that all females had a mega libido just waiting to get out but suffered the constraints of social and religious pressures that kept those subdued.

The current surging of sexually assertive females most simply is that we have reached a point where society and religion has lost is dominating chokehold on female minds allowing them to approach the bedroom as equals to males.

Of course that is a huge development given the centuries of female repression.

In my own research i have concluded that it is NOT a thing where males are seeking to be totally dominated but rather more males are allowing the females to be involved, in control, and in far more ways than traditionally allowed.

Many females are going for this as suddenly sex for them is not all about getting pregnant but rather is about pleasure, adventure, and expression.

This has been a long time coming and we should appreciate it.

 

[dreamcro]

In my opinion it isnt so crucial that sub is physically attracted to dom, as long as dominant person doesnt want some (too) intimate stuff from sub. Idk how anyone else thinks, but for me is not so much how you look, than what you do. Its greatly pleasurable for me when I feel that dom actually likes and enjoys in what hes/shes doing to sub or ordering sub to do to him/herself. If scene for kinky session is agreed by all sides involved, roleplay goes within limits of all sides involved and is equally pleasurable for all sides, than physical attraction is almost unimportant. Off course mutual trust, understanding and discretion is a must. At least it is for me.

 

[nancycross]

Lurking around I have come across many submissive men talking about their femdom fantasies where the female dominant/top is always extremely sexy, always dressed very sexily and wears the highest heels, now I understand fantasies and there's nothing wrong in it.

But somehow these objectified physical traits have also made their way into general expectations and requirements sometimes reflected in ads seeking for femdoms as well. I may be wrong about my perceptions and that is the reason why I have made this thread to seek more insights.

I feel such expectations may be influenced from porn or paid services etc. idk and if one is really looking to experience submission in D/s dynamic with regular people then this false expectation is self defeating as this kind of objectification is actually subjugation of someone you want to submit to and just FYI heels that high aren't that comfortable. The reason why this topic crossed my mind was as a female sub I never objectified male doms or felt that to be a relevant factor to be considered but then that could just be me.

Again like I said, I do not believe this is always true for everyone and just wanted to gather some insights from all of you to gain some perspective on this. So share your thoughts on this topic and please don't attack me for posting this thread, pretty please..lol.

Dear Nina. I've just joined. I've always been into mature ladies, ideally over 60 for me. That uber sexy domina hasn't been a fantasy. On the other hand, a mature lady, always makes me feel so girly, while I walk all over the appartment in my mini dress/skirt on heels.

 

[male.live.to.serve]

Lurking around I have come across many submissive men talking about their femdom fantasies where the female dominant/top is always extremely sexy, always dressed very sexily and wears the highest heels, now I understand fantasies and there's nothing wrong in it.

But somehow these objectified physical traits have also made their way into general expectations and requirements sometimes reflected in ads seeking for femdoms as well. I may be wrong about my perceptions and that is the reason why I have made this thread to seek more insights.

I feel such expectations may be influenced from porn or paid services etc. idk and if one is really looking to experience submission in D/s dynamic with regular people then this false expectation is self defeating as this kind of objectification is actually subjugation of someone you want to submit to and just FYI heels that high aren't that comfortable. The reason why this topic crossed my mind was as a female sub I never objectified male doms or felt that to be a relevant factor to be considered but then that could just be me.

Again like I said, I do not believe this is always true for everyone and just wanted to gather some insights from all of you to gain some perspective on this. So share your thoughts on this topic and please don't attack me for posting this thread, pretty please..lol.

well, this is a much greater matter that can't be unified to a single simple answer

Firth of all are there professional mistresses that offer SM as a service in exchange for money.
Those professionals will clearly be objectified by there customers, no matter if those women have true desires for sadomaso or not. And even if they actually have personal desires does this change there business practice.
Men who go to professionals have a clear expectation of what they want experience during the limited time they spent inside the "studio" or "dungeon". And this is exactly what they rightfully get because they pay for it!

The professional mistresses either ask there costumers upfront for there wishes or orientate themselves by observing the reactions of the customers. And - despite of having own SM desires or not - always willing in to fulfill there customers wishes, including an extra hot act of sex at the peak of the "session" as this maximize the chance the customer come back to them or even give positive feedback to potential customers.

But in the end, all summarized up was there never an actual D/s relationship happen. All this was just a construct inside a business agreement and (no matter how spending there clothing or equipment might shine) can you rightfully call professional mistresses as prostitutes equipped with a whip.

On the other hand are the privet mistresses, who perform sadomaso with there husbands or chosen partners. Some of them might only do it for pleasing there hubbies without enjoying it themselves. But - thankfully - are there many women with true desires out there. And - respecting there nature - I hardly assume anyone of them would turn to an object of there submissive counterparts.

 

[ursub]

Lurking around I have come across many submissive men talking about their femdom fantasies where the female dominant/top is always extremely sexy, always dressed very sexily and wears the highest heels, now I understand fantasies and there's nothing wrong in it.

But somehow these objectified physical traits have also made their way into general expectations and requirements sometimes reflected in ads seeking for femdoms as well. I may be wrong about my perceptions and that is the reason why I have made this thread to seek more insights.

I feel such expectations may be influenced from porn or paid services etc. idk and if one is really looking to experience submission in D/s dynamic with regular people then this false expectation is self defeating as this kind of objectification is actually subjugation of someone you want to submit to and just FYI heels that high aren't that comfortable. The reason why this topic crossed my mind was as a female sub I never objectified male doms or felt that to be a relevant factor to be considered but then that could just be me.

Again like I said, I do not believe this is always true for everyone and just wanted to gather some insights from all of you to gain some perspective on this. So share your thoughts on this topic and please don't attack me for posting this thread, pretty please..lol.

 

[Urban]

I intended to mean men only and not male subs as my perception was it roots from gender bias issues. I do think, not having gone through male subs ads myself that, that example was inaccurate, however my broader point is that some men do have this perception, particularly those who are newer or more exposed to porn, which is also a large chunk in such sites and it may also be due to those fake domme ads to which men also respond enthusiastically, confirming both points that women are burdened with the stereotype and they also live up this expectation.

The unfairness is that to the best of my knowledge male doms do not have any such stereotypes. And while it is not true that all men have this perception but only a few may, similarly not all women, even dominant ones in the kinky context may recognize with dressing that way to feel empowered. Again the topic is definitely deeper and I posted this thread as a curiosity rather than a verdict..lol

Also just google search maledom and then femdom and see the dressing differences, I observed >90% of femdoms dressed like that which is far from how things are in many real D/s relationships imho while I saw male doms dressed casually, formally, normally and even naked, basically however they liked, While this is porn and media and thus misleading example, it still does shape perceptions. Maybe those expectations aren't conveyed by men or male subs due to rarity of dommes but the point is, do they secretly exist and if yes how prevalent it is.

From my personal experience from when I was a more dominant man I'd say it's definitely a thing both ways. I had my own company and I was wearing suits for it a lot, the amount of times 18y old me was able to tie up some lady just cause they had this 50shades idea was shocking. Now I am probably myself in the realm of the 2% of man who are somewhat esthetically close (and even taller) to the main character in that movie. So that might explain that problem.

In regards to the objectification of woman, I'd argue that personally I spend a great effort looking my best, so I'd say it's not so much about that exact outfit, but in any part of life I hold quite high standards to physical fitness and visuals.

Although without confidence that means nothing though. I think my biggest "expectation" is that the Miss or lady is sure of her business. That's the most turning on point of it all. And in that realm I've known woman who felt more empowered and confident with those attires, thus it would make sense to hold that kind of expectation. After all Pavlov his theory seems to work pretty well on guys who walk on all fours barking to please a woman. So I'd definitely not rule out the possibility of objectification by man.

Still to read the next pages so maybe some compelling arguments are made posing my arguments above.

 

[Urban]

A few fresh points to add to the discussion, lurking around the web I recently came across two articles that maybe relevant to this topic, also please note that atleast one of the articles primarily talks about professional dominatrix while this thread discussion is about femdom partners in real life. Again shows that pro dommes do seem to have these stereotypes and many [or atleast some] new or ignorant may read too much into porn or pro services to believe in them being regular norms for kinksters. I also vaguely remember reading somewhere how a professional dominatrix would blindfold a sub and then quickly change to a sweat shirt so she could have more air to breathe, more mobility to whip harder and then would change back to her costume [latex etc] before removing the blindfold of the sub client.
The issue is not about some finding it attractive for their partners or themselves to wear these, but the fact that the pro dommes generally sell a service to a customer and thus dress in a certain way to satisfy the customer's specific needs in exchange of consideration, however in a symbiotic real life relationship of that of a Domme-sub, the focus is to generally satisfy the Domme's needs and no matter what we say, the former [porn or pro services] seems to shape some perceptions for the latter [real world].
In a nutshell doing things for the sake of it or other reasons discussed like influence from porn or the pro services rather than being into it is what seems imposed rather than organic.

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fashionista.com

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I'd say these standards might transfer if you compare the male escort vs female dominatrix. 60y old rich woman with bodybuilding man of 20-25 in trade for a payment. I've definitely experienced woman of that age to expect me to engage with them on a "casual" level to be their eyecandy.

The difference ofcourse being that its a very specific age and gap between it. But to refer back to my other reply, when I used to fit that profile I very much so experienced woman of that age to "try" and seduce. Which just made me laugh and reply "I'm sorry your older then my grandma" and got them angry, whoops. But it also creates this "normativity" on the idea of a grandma and a 20y old.