Master won't let me date?

Kitten9876

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Slave
Nov 11, 2012
42
0
0
Maryland
#1
My master of about 3 years plans on eventually having me move in as a live in 24/7 slave(we are actually serious about this am I really do want to) and his slave for life(he seems very serious about that and I'd like that but I find it unlikely to be for "life") He says I can have my own life (college, a job, etc.) but he tells me I'm not allowed to date other guys.

I probably wouldn't find a problem with that, but my master is 12 years older than me and he IS my master so it's not really possible to have a normal relationship and it's not like I can really tell anyone about him. And although I love my master, it's not really like its possible that we could ever settle down and marry or anything. I know it makes me seem unfaithful to my master, but I just want to be able to have a somewhat normal relationship and fall in love with someone where I can actually have a normal relationship without all the slave-master stuff maybe even consider marrying. I know he wants to Keep me faithful to him, but I want to have a somewhat normal life outside of just being a slave. thoughts or advice?
 
Last edited:

Talon

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Oct 2, 2009
45
0
0
Near New York City
#2
Well, I think you had better decide what being a "slave" means. I don't see how you would be able to have a normal life without all the"slave-master" stuff, and still be a "slave" to another man. Both men would have to be pretty extraordinary to allow what you want, or you'd have to marry a a cuckold.
 

Talon

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Oct 2, 2009
45
0
0
Near New York City
#3
Sorry, I had to leave before. Anyway, I don't think you'd want a cuckold as I'm guessing you want someone strong in your life. Are you sure about the relationship you presently have? Is it really what you want? If so, then a 12 year difference is not really a big deal, after all, when you're 30 years old, he'll be 42, not a big difference. But, I'm also guessing you aren't in love with him, just love what you have now.
 

Kitten9876

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Slave
Nov 11, 2012
42
0
0
Maryland
#4
Yeah you definitely have a point, and I understand. Although we are generally more vanilla, the lifestyle is still difficult for me. I mean I love being a slave and I really do love my master but Being the girl I am, I worry he doesn't back and I need something to take care of my emotional needs. I mean he's great, but like I said I worry he doesn't care as much as I do. And I always worry that after a few years he'll just drop me and move onto a new slave. He seems serious about having me as a slave for life but there's always a what if. Like ill get older, he'll get a new slave and I've essentially wasted my time for nothing.

Also another thing that worries me is that he does have a couple other girls and is always trying to get me to help find him more girls which makes the previous scenario seem pretty realistic. I don't wanna waste my time, having him drop me and move on, which is always an issue in relationships and all but it's more worrying to me since its a very probable possibility in this case and I'm not even sure if my master cares about me as much as I do about him, like I sometimes feel like just a toy(which I am, but people throw toys away and I don't want to be thrown away)

The age difference doesn't worry me very much but it's not like it's "normal" to be with someone over 10 years(or 5 for that matter) older/younger than you, so it's not like I can let anyone know at all, well obviously letting anyone know hes my master is a big no. But when/if I move in with him, like I have no idea what I'd tell my family. Theyd obviously wanna know who im moving in with. It'd be off to day he's my boyfriend or even just a friend cause of the age difference, but even crazier to say I'm moving in with a stranger.

But you definitely have a point and are probably right. And im sure that i want to keep what i have, I'm just kinda paranoid about wastin my time and life only to be forgotten
 

Talon

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Oct 2, 2009
45
0
0
Near New York City
#6
bob may be right in what he's saying. It sounds as if you may have been "swept off your feet" and found something that you want, being submissive, but not the person you want.

As I said earlier, if you were in love with him, its not a big deal, but I think you love the idea of what you have. Be patient.
 

shadowice0823

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Aug 9, 2012
291
2
18
#7
Your still young and have time to make tons of mistakes, the way I see it your at the ledge and you got to decide to jump or not. Jumping would be unpredictable, it could give you what you've really been looking for or it could end up being a total bust. If scenario plays out where he gets tired of you in a few years then your only 20-21. As cute as you are if it fails any time soon you can basically have your pick of boyfriends and any of them would be lucky to have you.
 

MasterZp

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Nov 22, 2011
26
0
0
#8
Nothing is guaranteed

At the end of the day, you need to make the best decision for you at the time. You said that you are worried that your Master will "tire" of you in the future, and leave you. That you wish to find someone you can fall in love with and be with in a more traditional vanilla way. And yet you say that you love your Master as well.

But your fear for your Master is true for any relationship. Even in a purely vanilla world, there is always the risk that things will "fade" and "change" and that in the future, one or both of you will decide to move in a different direction. There are no guarantees, and being in a vanilla or D/s relationship doesn't change any of that.

So, the real question is, do you love and trust him? Do you feel you are ready to commit to him, and to be what he wants? And is he ready to be what you want? If you cannot answer "yes" to all of that, then you have some serious soul searching to do.
 

Hunterman36

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Submissive
Sep 6, 2012
41
0
0
#9
I don't want to be a jerk or anything, but the prospect of being his slave for life may be very unrealistic. If you plan on starting college soon, I can personally say that it can take a huge toll on a relationship. Ultimately you need to do what is best for you personally. If he is 12 years older than you that could possibly cause problems. Even the prospect of a 30 year old marrying a 42 year old is a little iffy. In college you meet people that you will know for the rest of your life. One of those may be your future guy. I just don't think you should start something like college tied down to a relationship that very likely won't work out in the end. The majority of people don't marry their high school boyfriend or in this case your master.

Again I am just trying to say nicely what I would do if I were in your position. I think you should start distancing yourself from your master, and prepare to leave him by the time you enter college. You will be open to a fresh start surrounded by people your own age that have a lot in common with you. I wish you the best of luck.
 

Kitten9876

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Slave
Nov 11, 2012
42
0
0
Maryland
#10
I completely agree with you Hunterman36 and that's a lot of the problems I have and this is clearly something I really need to think about ad weigh the pros and cons. On one hand I love my master and this is obviously something I want to keep and am ready for, but on the other is how realistic it would be and my worries about issues showing up.
 

Top_Hat

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Nov 30, 2012
18
0
0
#11
Honesty

I think there is a lot to be said for total honesty:
1) Have you talked to your master about all of this? If not I think you should explain where you are coming from to him.
2) If you are going to have a 'normal relationship' then wouldn't you need to tell your partner about your master before things go too far? If so then wouldn't there be a chance that they could take the place of your master, being both partner and dominant?
 

Mistress_Lucie

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Dominant
Feb 27, 2012
63
2
0
29
Newcastle upon Tyne
#12
Sorry to break it to you, but what you have now isn't a Master/slave relationship. Which is good, because from what you say that's not what you want either. You want a regular relationship with some D/s kink in it, and that's cool.

I really don't think you're ready for this kind of commitment, and nor should you be. You're only a student once. Yes, I'd moved in with my now husband before I'd finished my Masters and PHD, but I'd had 2 years of being the young, free student and I feel my relationships are the better for it.

It's not an age thing necessarily (my husband is 3 years my senior but my partner is twice my age), but if you don't have those freedoms to become a woman in your own time. When your coursemates are partying and shagging and you're ensconced in domestic servitude, you may come to resent the man you call Master. If he is your one, then he'll still be there when you're ready.

Step back, reevaluate, and do what's right for you.

Lucie xoxox
 

Kitten9876

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Slave
Nov 11, 2012
42
0
0
Maryland
#13
Update-my master and I have talked a bit more and I expressed my concerns, especially the fact that it is pretty difficult to meet up(living with a very Christian family makes it hard for me to get out to see him as much as I'd wish), on rare occasions there'd be a week- amonth inbetween getting to meet, which is difficult for me without being able to do anything. Some masters like to keep their slaves in chastity(not literally locked up, just not being able to do anyhing with others) but that is kinda a limit of mine, I can't handle it very well. and because master and I don't plan on me moving for possibly a couple years still, master has finally agreed to allow me to see other people until then, with some rules of course
 

archie21

Banned
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Dominant
Apr 24, 2010
244
0
0
#14
I am pleased you have managed to find some form of resolution to your problem that is to your liking... X
 
Last edited:

Master_M92

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Switch
Mar 6, 2011
31
0
0
#15
Normally I browse this site any more for shits and giggles but stumbling across this I find a very serious matter.
A Master slave relationship is still a relationship, and for it to be more then just someone you "play with" or have a scene together it will require what any serious relationship man and woman, man and man, woman and woman ect. ect.. would require for marriage . A) Love B) Trust C) Communication ect... Basic fundamentals. Unless you're willing for and or ready Poly relationship, my advice is to take a step back and rethink where this will take you, what you want out of it, what he wants to see it go and what he wants out of it. Sit down with him tell him that you need to talk with out the M/s part for the conversation and discuss it as normal educated adults. If neither of you can do that you even more so need to rethink the relationship. There are more Masters, Doms, Daddy Doms, what ever name you want to put on it what ever name they want to put on it there are a lot more out there. A word of warning there are also a lot of creepers and men putting the the title Master or Dom on just so they can try and get in a lady/girl/sub/slaves pants and try to avoid boundaries. Always remember the three main letters and what they stand for SSC Safe, Sane and Consensual. Please play safe and enjoy the life. Pardon the grammar errors I'm a bit tired right now and I hope this is helpful to you.
 

iawyn

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Slave
Dec 11, 2012
8
0
0
#16
I had shown this thread to my own Master earlier today to get his point of view on it. He is very much on the same page as a number of people here, which I think is something you should take into consideration if you haven't already. But he also differs on quite a few things. My Master is strict and harsh sometimes, and I apologize in advance of it comes across as offensive. He feels that 18 is far too early to be making a decision like this, and that if you belonged to him, he wouldn't even give you the option to make that decision. Meaning he wouldn't be asking you to move out and become a 24/7 slave to begin with. Those are just his thoughts, and I will admit, I do agree with him.

Being in a D/s relationship doesn't make a lick of a difference compared to other relationships, however, as mentioned earlier. It all requires the same basic values where you have to be truthful, care, and respect one another. Although personally, I have found my relationship with my Master to be far more trustful than my more vanilla ones from my past. There isn't a thing I have to hide from him because I know that no matter what, he has my best interest at heart.

I can't say much about your relationship with your own Master, but I would hope that it is at least similar in a sense. You cannot have a proper D/s situation if you do not feel safe enough to talk to him about it. From what I can see, you have both figured out some common ground, so that is always a plus.

Also, I will 100 percent agree with Master_M92. I never believed much in the Safe, Sane, Consensual thing until I started looking at forums like this online. All of that seemed fairly straight forward and obvious, but the more I see, the more I understand that it absolutely is necessary to remind people that this is an absolute must.

There is one other thing I wanted to mention here. You were talking about how you don't know if your relationship could last throughout the years. You are still very young. I hate to say it, but odds are it won't. And if you do decide to take the risk and move in together, I very seriously want you to know that just because he's the Master, doesn't mean you are out of control. Unfortunately it requires people like us to step out of our comfort zone and take the reins for a moment, and express our concerns in saying that we want out. It is the hardest thing you will ever have to do as a slave, no doubt, but very important if a time comes and you don't feel the same about your relationship.

Hopefully this was helpful in some way or another. Best of luck.
 

Master_M92

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Switch
Mar 6, 2011
31
0
0
#17
I also forgot to add that as a slave/sub you have just as much control as the Master/Dom due to you should at least have a safe word and that safe so it should stop when you need it to, even though you take the title as slave you're still a person and that is to be respected.
 

dutchjustme

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Switch
Dec 11, 2012
239
2
18
#18
I'm glad to see you talked to him. And he agrees on your point of view seeing others in college although it is with some rules. i think though that you probably walk into someone at college and the rules you had set with your master will be probably set aside if the new guy can be a master aswel and has more your own age. i think time will tell and that you should enjoy college as much as you can. maybe eventually you meet a kinktalk dominant member at college. you'll never know.
 

bestofthebest

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Sep 18, 2012
9
0
0
#19
There have been some very good and sober responses here, though I haven't been able to read all of the posts.

I have a very simple rule of thumb. As a Dominant, I don't interfere in an aspect of the submissive's life that I am not ready to take up myself. So if I have a relationship that is purely kink with a submissive, or even if it is more complex than that but not on a romantic level, then I allow her to have a boyfriend because that is an emotional need I am not willing to satisfy myself and at the end of the day, we're all human and require certain things to be happy and healthy.

Likewise, unless I am financially stable enough to support the submissive, I would not order her or let her do anything that could sacrifice her work or her academic career. These are just examples but it tends to keep things clean and clear for the most part.
 

JEflutterby

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Switch
Jul 26, 2012
8
0
0
La Luna
#20
Amazing

Fantastic and amazingly great advice to a girl in college... Good job hero. I say fuck all the guys you can in school... Keep your head in dominance and forget education all together. Just sayin.:D