Who should ask for a date?

Wolfsister

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#1
I've always been confused about this subject. Not that I need the information now, but I'm still curious. When it comes to wanting to date someone, should the woman or the man ask? I've always been an old fashioned type and waited for the man to do the asking (of course I'd drop hints) but these days it seems willy nilly. So... what are the Asking Rules?
 

SubMissChievous

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#2
Why should there be a rule? :) I think nowadays not only it's fine either for guys or girls to take the 1st step & ask but in my line of work (barmaid) I often notice that guys seem to like when girls do the asking.

I, too, have always been more "old-fashioned" about this so I can understand you. Not that I'm overly shy but I'm quite introverted & I guess that I always prefered for guys to ask because of my submissive nature as well.

I like the idea of sending hints though. Maybe if you happen to meet someone you find potentially interesting you can then simply talk with him & find any common ground. Then if you have an activity that you both enjoy (for ex. a sport you both like to practice, or both like picnics or whatever) you could always drop the idea to that person that you'd like to share this activity with them. It's not like flat out ask for a date but you still send the message that you'd like to get to know him better & if the feeling's mutual there's a high chance he'll invite you :) At least this has worked for me in the past ;)
 

depp

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#3
I've always been a very shy guy and heavy hinting has helped me in the past I must admit. :)
 

shinningstar

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#4
I'm a simple and practical woman. I'm not hypocrite. It's fine for me to ask a man to date me as long as we are both compatible and of the same taste. It's really good to be true.
 

Wolfsister

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#5
*thoughtful nod* yes, these answers pretty much echo what I was thinking. It seems that the 'rules of engagement' have long ago been put out to dry. But I'm still a romantic at heart and I love for men to take control. Sometimes, though, men just don't seem to get it and women need to give them that all important 'nudge'. :D
 

aika

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#6
My girl asked me out after I layed on all the hints I could.

It seems a lot more common especially for the under 21s nowadays for the girls to be the more confident ones that do the asking.
 

AlienMindsInc

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#7
I'd just like to point out to all of you "hinting" girls that there are a bunch of guys who will either be too afraid or too dimwitted to get it and ask.

Every day I go to lunch with a friend who flirts like crazy with waitresses. (Although I think, at this point, that it's entirely unintentional.) Occasionally he'll get a number with an odd remark like "if you ever have a group this big again *wink* call ahead." Usually he ends up remarking about how "nice" they are until I point out that there's only two of us and she's asking him to ask her out.

My point, don't wait for someone else to explain to the slow guy that you're interested, it isn't a bad thing for most guys to be asked out.

-M
 

green

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#8
I have been asked out by a girl and it feels really good. But as most people may thing it should be the man asking the women. Its the polite way. But you do get alot of men who will ask one women out and some men may feel they dont have a chance. I think if you like someone then go for it either sex
 

SubMissChievous

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#9
I'd just like to point out to all of you "hinting" girls that there are a bunch of guys who will either be too afraid or too dimwitted to get it and ask.
I do not "hint" anymore since I've stopped dating a while ago but when I did, trust me, my hints were good enough to catch :) And if it happened that someone was too afraid or too dimwitted to get it then I knew I was hinting at the wrong tree...

I believe in acting naturally. If a girl feels comfortable enough to do the asking then fine. It was not fine for me because it's totally out of my character & would have only sent a wrong message to the recipient of the hinting from the start about myself & who I am truly. So, no, I don't think it's bad to ask. But I think it's bad to put on an act that's phony in order to get a date or anything else for that matter. People should be true to themselves first & foremost.
 

Simplyme

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#10
I agree that it varies depending on the people I neither think it is the man or womans place to ask. But I sure as heck would not be waiting for someone else to make the first move. Good way to lose what you want.
 

Wolfsister

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#11
I waited forever for people to ask me. I was the waiting type, to be honest. Then again, when ever I had the courage to ask in the first place, I was shot down. And this wasn't some times... it was every single time.

But I got over my insecurities and now I'm living a very comfortable and lovely life with my man. I can't remember who asked who, but it just happened. And that's the good part :D
 

rumen

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#12
Well, the guy should go first most of the time, but there isn't a fixed rule to keep. I think it depends on who is more shy :) Women tend to be more direct anyway.
 

sweetvtmom

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#13
I think the world is to small and time moves to fast--if you see something you like (man or woman) just go for it---it doesn't matter who asks first. It may just pass you by if you wait.
 

Dementyia

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#14
I've always been of the school of thought that if you are interested, you should ask. The worst that can happen is that you get turned down, then you can move on.

There are no rules anymore, though it is rather romantic for the guy to ask the girl. It can be romantic either way though, if one is creative. :)
 

Skex

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#15
I'll just put it this way.

It's really hard to get what you want if you are not willing to ask for it.