confused- havig trouble dominating

[Mistress-Of-Fate]

i know i am intrested in the area of BDSM. I am a bi Sexual who is ot afraid to show her kinks. i have always belived that i am a Dominant, however this may not be true. As i recently discovered when dealing with my current submissive. all my past subs have been female and i have had no problem takeing control but with my current sub (male) i found the deep urge to back down and submit, i couldn't even order him to kneel before me without cracking up. i found my urges so strong that i had to ask him to leave.
i called up my Ex who was the one who got my feet frimly into the bdsm lifestyle and asked her what to make of the situation and she askeed me if i had felt it before. turth being that i had, but never as strong. can anyone tell me what this means? i'm very confused.

 

[sum1]

Sounds like you're a switch really. It's like the bdsm equivalent of being bi. Means you like to both dominate and submit and what you'll do will probably depend on the person your with the mood your in and everything like that.

 

[TensionRoom101]

Without wishing to come across as a sexist, it is very common for a female dom, if she is mostly acting out a role in her D/s, to have her primal urges trump her sessioning. The primal urge of a female being turned on by the male is very common, and I know of more than a handful prodommes who are mostly submissive behind closed doors. I don't know if it's pheremones, body clock, nesting instinct or what at play, but it just sometimes gets triggered in unexpected circumstances.

A number of dommes have an inner struggle going on. They know the submissive male does their bidding dutifully, but in most cases it's because the submissive male allows it. Should he refuse, in most cases the domme could not overpower him. She can diminish him through progressive humiliation and emasculation which can help, but either way her giggling is often inevitable. With practice though you can turn this to your advantage.

As for dom/sub/switch, don't be in a hurry to label yourself. Many is the lady who dommes girls but subs to men, and vice versa. Just play with the dynamic until you're comfortable- but there's no obligation to settle into any one pattern.

Mike

 

[John Masters]

Looks like you've met a guy who has an effect on you. Enjoy it. As much as I prefer to be submissive I'm generally dominant in my vanilla life. Just a few times though I've met women who leave me tongue tied and quivering in my boots but I doubt they gave me a second thought.